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Aug 4

Accessory to Murder

Posted on Friday, August 4, 2017 in Family, Rantings

I am a dog person. Not a cat person.

However due to endless pressure from Puppychild to get a cat (after our pet rats died), I caved. We now have a cat named TROUBLE.

Apologies for the video icons… Trouble never stays still.

Puppychild is heard regularly

outside calling for the cat, passers by ask her if she’s okay.

“I’m looking for trouble.”

“Uh… Okay, good luck kid!”

He’s aptly named.

This evening it brought a live field-mouse to my doorstep and had an epic battle with it. In the effort to shoo the cat away I accidentally stepped on the mouse.

The crunch. It’s the sort of sound that reverberates through your soul itself, the sickening instant mental image of brains exploding through cute little mouse ears, the slight squelch of delicate little organs oozing under my foot. Like stepping on a snail, that feeling of taking a life and having goo on your shoo.

The mouse convulsed for a few seconds and passed away. The cat gave me a look, I swear it fucking winked at me. Then it tucked in to the carcass, more crunching of bones and skull and organs… squishy noises.

I’m an accessory to murder.

I dislike cats.

No I’m not okay hun.

Bring on the comments

  1. Claudia says:

    I can truly emphasize with you.
    But: A dog only spares you the accessory to murder thingy because someone else takes the part of being accessory to murder and puts the result in a tin for you.
    Just a thought … ;-)

  2. K8 says:

    Yes but both dog and cat get cereal based um..animal derivative dry food regularly. The cat just wants the thrill of the hunt.

    The dog on the other hand is omnivorous. She will eat anything but tomatoes, slugs and red peppers. She’s dubious about wasps but flies are delicious.

    The kids gave me the side-eye a few days ago when I tried making quinoa vegetable burgers and refused to touch them. Dog devoured them!

    Dog also eats spiders.

    I employed the cat to catch a massive spider in the bathroom once, he just sat and stared at it, judging its hairy legs. Just like he does to me.

  3. The Blocked Dwarf says:

    Your Ol’Man directed me to this post.

    You are obviously doing something right if your feline Lord & Master is leaving you such bountiful bits of his largesse. You should be grateful he thought to bring you something back from his revels, not bitch on about the poor little vermin which was only put on the planet as a play thing for his felinic Majesty anyways.

    You’ll know when Trouble is really pleased with you cos he’ll leave you an owl or kestrel tastefully draped over the living room carpet – it’s not just the thought of killing them that counts, remember he has dragged the bloody thing all the way home too!

    Nothing says ‘I’m pleased with your servile attitude, my serf’ than a disembowelled pekingse on your bed.

  4. K8 says:

    I dont mind dead things on my doorstep.
    I don’t mind the dirty looks I get when I don’t pluck and roast the dead things with a bit of garlic and rosemary.

    I dislike having my feet attacked at 4am by razor sharp claws and teeth for nofuckingreasonwhatsoever though. Overlord or not, his highness gets booted out for that.

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