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Jun 19

Heathen

Posted on Friday, June 19, 2015 in Family, Philosophy

I’m not a non-believer. I’ve seen too many coincidences in my time to deny any sort of higher power. There’s something funky going on out there outside our existence which I’m sure of. Even if we don’t exist at all.

I’m supposed to be a Roman Catholic. So are my kids. I can’t resist a sly snigger any time anyone asks me what my faith is. I’m all over the place, but for my children’s sake I remain stoic and do what I’m s’posed to. I’ve no choice really, it’s all about school availability.

So. What I really like about Roman Catholic society is that their masses get people together as a community. There are a very few other entitiesĀ out there that can do that. They’re damn good at holding funerals. Even if you didn’t know the poor chap that died, but maybe you used to queue behind him at the post office for your pension fund or what have you, you still nodded and doffed your cap, so that’s you at the funeral paying your respects and scoffing free sangwidges, telling nice stories to the deceased’s family because that’s really all they want to hear and that’s a nice thing, it’s what I’d want in the eventuality of having something awful happen to me or someone I loved with all my heart.

Here comes the Catholic Guilt… when Puppychild was making her Communion I made a concerted effort to bring her to Sunday Mass every week. She remained in the back pews making bored noises while I became hooked on the choir. It’s a good choir. It has four parts. I was a middly sort of singer but I’m damn good at picking up tones and reading music so they liked me.

Then Puppychild finished her Communion thing and I got lazy. She had no interest, no motivation, and I can’t say I blame her. All that chanting. Stand up. Sit down. Baskets of money and people looking at you strangely because you forgot to load up on change that morning or your jumper has dog hair on it. So, I lost motivation too and I feel SO GUILTY.

Morning. Yaawwwn.

Why do interesting things have to always take place in the morning? Especially a SUNDAY morning when you’ve been working hard all week and deserve a lie-in?

I don’t miss Mass. Well I do sort of. I miss the stories.

I miss the choir though most of all.

Can’t they have a lunchtime mass for layabouts and messers? We’re part of the congregation too, you know. We’d even bring coffee and hummous crackers and cactus plants. Probably a guitar too.

Numbers are dropping, they tell me. Not just Mass-goers, but priests and nuns too.

It’s Puppychild’s Confirmation next year, and it was supposed to be Laughingboy’s last May. I’m lumping them together, like a 2-for-1 offer. That’s how it feels. It’s more convenient for a family day out I suppose.

It’s depressing though, how MEH it all feels.

I wish there was more relaxation, more passion, more of a family feel to Sunday Mass. More of an open-ness to individual preferences instead of a fixed regime of closed doors and silent sadness. The Lord is with Thee every day, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Or maybe He’s a She. Or maybe She’s an It. It might not exist at all.

My poor Grandmothers must be turning in their graves.

Bring on the comments

  1. Brianf says:

    My parish has a noon Mass for all the layabouts and late night revelers. I go to the 9am Mass. What the hell I’ve been up for 5 hours already. I get all the looks because I don’t wear a suit there. The church is full of families in their Sunday best.
    The best part is the majesty and ritual of it all. I like the stand,kneel,stand;sit,kneel. It makes me feel like I’m connected to everyone else who is attending Mass all over the world and throughout time.
    My God doesn’t care if I have cat hair on my trousers or if I don’t wear a tie to Mass. Mine is a loving God who is happy to see me there each Sunday.

  2. Ian says:

    Moving from a Church of Ireland parish in south Co Dublin to a scattered Midlands community in 2010, I was amazed to find the parish to which I moved was far stronger.

    I have realized that it is community that holds our church members together – we don’t do majesty and we certainly don’t do quality singing (though we do manage very loud singing, Kevin Myers once reckoned six Protestant ladies could generate a volume to match that of a Saturn V rocket at lift off), but we are good at being a community.

    I think there are many of my parishioners who don’t believe very much, but they are held into the church by a sense of belonging

  3. journeymans says:

    The church is facing a massive rebuild and the boyos in the Vatican will have little to do with it. That’s what the Medjugorje message seems to be signalling. From what I have read recently. They can be quite nuts though in their website messages. Take their personal rants with a pinch of salt.
    You are not alone not getting to church either, but all of us lapsed ones may need to reconsider the origins of it all.
    I recently had a heavenly visitor (July, last year) and left the hospital healed. I wasn’t praying or even asking for any heavenly intervention either. My insurance had me fully covered. It just happened, literally out of the blue. The vision that opened above me was of a sparklingly powerful sapphire blue and it descended over me till I was inside it. All dark in there but I felt two hands as they healed my leg while I was in the MRI scanner.
    Anyway, just letting you know, there is a higher power. I’ve seen it in action up close and very personal.
    My research since, which began that very day, has led me to the Divine Mercy. Polish nun stuff. But all very very real.

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