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Mar 28

A rose by any other name

Posted on Friday, March 28, 2014 in Arty Farty, Family, Little known facts, Strange and Unusual

The following is a very long and spurious story. I would advise that you drop acid before reading it.

I’ve just returned from an effort to renew my driving license. I think I broke a member of their staff. I offered her acid of course, but she declined and declared that she had to have a lie-down instead.

See, it all began when Laughingboy was born. Because he was born out of wedlock, we decided to give him our future married name in order to avoid having to adopt him again at a later stage (stupid Irish laws etc.)

But, unlike normal people who would assign a married name as the husband’s, my own husband wasn’t really happy with his name as it seems to be jinxed: the majority of marriages on his side of the family wound up divorced. So! We adopted the IRISH version of his name when we eventually tied the knot.

But, we were very young at the time so of course we spelled it wrong and thus our family was given a brand new name, that which apparently doesn’t exist, or at least hasn’t existed in thousands of years. Still legit though, somewhat spuriously.

Trouble is, when you translate Irish surnames into Irish, there be politicks:

Master and Mr are easy… they’re both named Ó.

Females are somewhat more complicated though.

Unmarried ladies are known as ‘daughter of‘ which is ‘Ní’.

Married ladies are known as ‘wife of‘ which is ‘Beann Uí’.

Not being a fan of politicks, I shopped and changed between all three over time between different entities until eventually everything became confused and now everyone in my family has a different name, indeed, I myself have at least four names. I also have my facebook alias name which has also creeped into real life on various occasions so that makes five names for me.

Bonus! This means I can get away with crimes left right and centre, but I choose not to. Does this not count for anything?!?

So, when I went to apply for my new drivers license today, I provided them with all the proper documentation and they got very confused because they didn’t understand Irish. I might point out here that shamefully, all staff were as Irish as a packet of Tayto but their heads still exploded.

“Jaysus but this is all very Irish” yer man behind the counter ironically exclaimed… this statement has various meanings in this country.

So, I reverted to my maiden name and distracted them with magic tricks.

I’m expecting a very strongly worded letter from somebody in the future. I wonder what name they will use.

In the meantime, there is this:

 

Bring on the comments

  1. Gloria says:

    Have you ever considered therapy ? … but then again I somewhat enjoyed the pictures.:-)

  2. K8 says:

    Yes! They have assured me that I am quite normal, which was a bit of an insult.

  3. Brianf says:

    I have paperwork from doctors and a large federal department claiming I AM crazy.
    That aside, why not pick a name and change everyones name to that one. Oh and what ever you do do not hyphenate any names. I really dislike that particular modern day custom. A woman takes her husbands name. End of discussion. If you decide to take an Irish version, fine, just keep everyone in the family the same.
    That story and accompaning photo would go well with a hit of acid. Ah the follies of youth!

  4. Ginger Mick says:

    I thought I saw a kangaroo in your thoughts, but, on closer inspection, it turned out to be a giraffe. Therefore I have nothing further to add.

  5. Ginger Mick says:

    Except that I have discovered that I am an O GEALBHAIN. As you and I are family, you are welcome to use this moniker!

  6. Holemaster says:

    Hello.
    Very good.
    Carry on.

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