Posted on Sunday, November 18, 2012
‘Because that’s where all the aul’ lady ghosts sit and they get angry if you steal their seats.’
‘Oh.’ Said Puppychild.
She’s new to this Mass lark. So am I. I haven’t been to Mass regularly since I was 16 and even then, that was just to eye up the local talent from the back row.
We sat three rows from the front, three empty pews before us. Puppychild wanted to sit right in the front seat but I made up that lie about old lady ghosts and that seemed to convince her. We were still at the front of the entire congregation though and that is BAD for three reasons:
- Lip syncing is very important because the priest can see you very well. Seeing as the chanting has changed in the last year (for no reason) it means that I’m in bluff territory… I’m mouthing words like a Japanese bloke in a kung-fu film, but I have no subtitles. I know when to stick in the ‘Amen’s and the ‘Our Father’ but that’s it. Everything else is on a wing and an… ummm… prayer.
- I can’t see when everyone else is sitting or standing or kneeling. At one point the priest looked at me pointedly and said ‘Please be seated.’ I glanced around to find that everyone had been kneeling for some time. I and my daughter were the only ones still standing, so that was fairly embarrassing.
- Being at the front of the crowd, means being the last one to leave. I filtered out at the end of the posse which made me a bit obvious to the choir folk. Unfortunately somebody spotted me and recognized me as my grandmother’s grand-daughter. She was very famous in this church at one time so that means by proxy I guess I should be too. D’oh.
So now I’m in the Church Choir I guess.
I’m starting next Sunday.
I have to go and do some serious
singing sinning now that I’m such a good girl.
These balances are important to uphold.