RSS Feed
Dec 21

How to build a bomb-shelter in 364 days

Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2011 in Something to think about

It’s December 21st! Finally, the shortest day. It marks the end of death, of withering, of dark mornings which don’t be the best friend of alarm clocks at all – at all. It also marks the start of our final year together as a human race, in all possiblity.

Yes, K8 the Gr8 is a sucker for sensationalism but she wasn’t caught up with the doomsayers before who warned us that Armageddon was upon us and that we should brush up on our Bible passages…

Nope, I’m used to laughing at those who say the end is upon us. ‘Up your end’, I’d be declaring in gay abandon.

This is different though. The end of days is this time prophesee’d by the Mayans, a people who died out more than a thousand years ago but whose calendar is still accurate give or take 30 seconds or so. They foretold the rise of Hitler, the Stephen’s Day tsunami, their intricately calculated calendar foretold many things besides and ends mysteriously next year, on the 21st December 2012. Ooooo.


Of course, this too is complete bollox and completely mis-representative of Mayan systems and beliefs. But it got me thinking, how nature is an increadibly intelligent thing, how clever it is in maintaining order. Now that humans are breeding at a tremendous rate almost like a virus, wouldn’t it be feasible that nature might try to over compensate with natural disasters? We have had an awful lot of late, and I’m pretty damn sure it has nothing to do with global warming and most likely, absolutely nothing to do with God.

So what could be the end for us as an entire race? A meteorite? An inter-stellar conjunction leading to the interruption of our gravitational pull to the sun? Maybe mysterious methane emmisions from the North Pole will accelerate our passing into the next Ice Age and do us all in. Or! Maybe we’ll all accidentally turn into zombies.

I’m rooting for zombies. I think I stand a chance against those fuckers.

Either way, it makes me wonder. Why worry? We’ll all be dust this time next year. Bwah hah hah hah… etc.



Bring on the comments

  1. 2012 was laid out for me in a dream. The ending sucks, but the lead up to the end is great!!! Of course, I can’t say what happened in the dream because it will not come true. ;)

    It’s only the end of one calendar and the beginning of another. :)

  2. Ginger Mick says:

    As we are having our coldest Christmas season in yonks here in Oz,I am afeared that we may all fall victim to global cooling. Also,the Pogues are visiting here next year and that could be the beginning of the end.

  3. Brianf says:

    I vote for the Zombies too but how can you fight them without guns? Everyone knows you need a good 12 bore shotgun to blow their heads off. I prefer the Mossberg 500 Defender. As to next years winter solstice, I’ll look forward to it just as I looked forward to today. The days are finally going to start getting longer. The earth is on its way to coming back to life.

  4. Simon says:

    I wouldn’t expect the Mayans to write an infinite calendar. I think they just ran out of money and resources so couldn’t afford to pay the Calendar man/woman to continue the job.
    I’m really looking forward to seeing the end of the world promotions and marketing.

  5. Jo says:

    If it is the end, I just hope it’s a fast one. No long draggted out struggle to survive a la Mad Max while I try to look after my babies. Worst Fears*

  6. K8 says:

    Happy New Year everyone!

    Jeffo; Premonitions are you? I wouldn’t rule them out entirely hey, you just don’t know what them aliens are capable of.

    Ginger Mick; Shane McGowan should be drinking the molten iceberg water to save the world. He’s drunk everything else.

    Brianf; The WunderWaffe would be my weapon of choice, even if they do take so long to re-load. That’s why they invented land-mines I guess.

    Simon; Ha!”Best before: The end of the world”. Should save a bit of money on preservatives so at least it’ll be a healthy last year alive.

    Jo; *shudder* Not listening! (lalalalalala)

  7. Rob says:

    @brianf you dont NEED a shotgun, a semi-auto .22 would work, or a 7mm etc…

Leave a Reply

Gravityscan Badge