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Dec 15

Craven

Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2011 in Family, Jobs, Strange and Unusual

I’m at a turning point in my life, I think. Not in a Robert Frost sort of way, but imagine his yellow wood had been bulldozed one morning and replaced with a four-lane motorway full of spaghetti junctions… that sort of way.

I was getting so good at hiding from things on my comfy couch surrounded by my lovely little K8lings and thoroughly enjoyed my last three years of shitehawkism beneath the radar, but it seems I’ve been found out by some Greater Power who is suddenly gunning for my blood.

They saw me coming. I’m a big fan of Puppychild’s school you see, it’s an ancient old thing in the middle of nowhere filled with nobles and countryfolk and eccentrics so I used to attend the parent meetings out of curiosity. Then I began to attend them purely because nobody else seemed to want to go so it was sort of obvious when I didn’t. Now I have to go because I got spuriously voted into the position of Chairperson of the Parents Association.

“Sorry? I’m a what now?” I says. They just smiled and handed me their coffee bill.

We have the menial task of raising between ten and twelve thousand quid to cover the money flop this year it seems. One does not just pull a handy grand out of one’s bum, you know. This requires work! A LOT of work. We threw a film night at the school and raked in €400 straight away, it was a great buzz. The flyer for this Friday’s gig looks like this:

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Aww, Chwismassy!

My family, however, also demands that I get up off my arse and try some hard graft but I’ve no clue as to how to work that one into an already jammers schedule. Need creativity. And a time machine.

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And! Worst of all! Potty training has begun.

Save me.

Bring on the comments

  1. If the school or you have a paypal account, you could create a free wordpress.com account and make the first post the only post. You could write a 500 word or less statement explaining why you’re involved, like you did here, and how the kids will benefit from it.

    You could stick a big DONATE paypal button on the site and ask people to put in a fiver or as much as they can. It wouldn’t take long to set up, if you or they have a paypal account. I’d be glad to help in anyway that I can.

    When its done, you can send out a massive email to everyone you know asking them to help and pass it on to everyone they know. Maybe include a picture of a lad with tattered clothes? :)

    Pull at peoples heart strings. :)

    I know you’re busy, but that is a fairly easy and you never know how much you could bring in, if enough people see it. Even get Grandad to talk about it on his blog. He has more traffic than anyone these days. :)

  2. Ginger Mick says:

    If I was a few thousand k’s nearer,I’d be there to-morrow night. But I’m not;so I won’t!

    A wonderful Christmas to you and the family.

    BTW, what movie am I missing?

  3. Helen says:

    Ah you’re a wonder you are. Sorry, long time no comment. I nearly died when I saw the ‘baby’ on Facebook. Great idea, I’d go in a heartbeat. JD has a point and if I had a penny it would be yours. Gotta go and write to the guy who’s travelling back in time. Sounds like a good way to escape debt.

  4. K8 says:

    Jefferson; Your comment is da business. Such a simple and great idea probably applicable to Laughingboy’s situation in a few years time (who knows)? You should see the houses that some of the kids from THIS school live in though. They’re quite the gaff. What they don’t have in size, they make up for in view… location, you know sure, having been around here. These moneyspinning outfits are purely to tweeze cash from those with large cars and ways beyond their means, y’know? Not from the pure of heart with more sense than money. I couldn’t do that in this sort of situation.

    Ginger Mick: Hiya! Didn’t I smell you over at Grandad’s place? Thanks for visiting… you’re missing ‘Elf’. Shut up. It’s a great film.

    Baino: Long time no post! K8 the Gr8 is awful sparse lately so the fact that you three have commented blows my mind. Baby is toddler. Boys are crazy. How the fuck did you manage it?!?!?!?

  5. Brianf says:

    Being busy sure beats being bored!
    and God help ya’ with the potty training.

  6. K8 says:

    Too true, man. Nail biting is not a spectator’s sport.

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