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Aug 16

The monkey’s off my back, but the circus is still in town.

Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2011 in Family

Breakfast this morning consisted of a strong coffee, two cigarettes and another strong coffee. The kids weetabixed, I then woke TAT with strong coffee and joined him for a cigarette. Then I began the process of sorting laundry into colourful piles before having another fag. The washing machine on, I cleaned the kitchen and answered the door to neighbourhood children and watched them scrawl pictures on the driveway with chalk while I had a cigarette.

Then I felt tired. I ate a slice of toast and had a cigarette. Deciding that I had to sit down, I began to sort visa receipts by date and study bank statements but this turned out to be a boring task so I had to have another cigarette before going any further. The job was never finished, of course, before long it was time to cook lunch and fix the next load of laundry but not before doing my nappy rounds and having a cigarette.

It occured to me that the floor needed sweeping, so I went outside to fetch the broom and decided to have a cigarette out there to save time later. I swept. I swept really well even if I do say so myself, lifting furniture out of the way and everything, and found that I deserved a cigarette  before mopping. That too went extremely well and was again deserved of a nice relaxing fag and a cuppa tea.

Time for picture cards with Sir Fartsalot and cuddle time with Laughingboy then, the children pulled grimaces when I breathed in their faces and giggled as I squitched their chubby knees.

A large pan heating to boiling point for pasta took too long to wait for, so I went outside for two cigarettes. Onions chopped and garlic mashed, carrots peeled and butter melting, I grabed the chance for a quick smoke. Almost ready to serve up dinner… I took it out of the oven to cool while I had a cigarette,

and another to reward myself for stacking the dishwasher so quickly.

The lads will appear shortly for a game of poker or two, so I’ll probably chain smoke a bit and hang around with them until three am or so.

Tomorrow I’ll wake with a chesty cough and brown fingertips with a headache and a smelly sittingroom.

Tomorrow I’ll wake with an extra tenner in my pocket, regardless of whether I win a poker game or not.

Bring on the comments

  1. paulo1 says:

    Tell me that all the excised things didn’t really happen or are you playing some mind-twisting did-she-or-didn’t she, psycho-sexual game with us ??????

  2. K8 says:

    The strikethroughs are all the things that didn’t happen but normally would. Normality’s cool, and all, but it hurts my chest.

  3. unstranger says:

    I think I know that circus well. Excellent title.

  4. K8 says:

    If a gang of clowns attack you, always aim for the juggler.

  5. Brianf says:

    “always aim for the juggler”
    Hey! I represent that remark!

  6. So, you’re quitting the smokes? Good on ya! Tough habit to break though. I only smoke when I drink now. One goes with the other. :)

  7. Jo says:

    Oh K8! Brave woman! I have a homeopathic, ease the symptoms of quitting remedy here if you’d like it, I bought it for a certain someone but he never chose to avail of it… free to a good home if you’d like!

  8. Kirk M says:

    I gave up smoking as a Christmas present to myself in 2005. Okay, Christmas didn’t have a damn thing to do with it but it was late December and it sounds good. And since I’ve been there and done that as they say, I’m definitely in your corner rooting for ya’!

    And while I’m there I’ll be raiding your fridge and eating your food, drinking your beer and whispering horror stories into your kids’ ears at 3:00 AM and scaring the b’jesus out of ’em. Of course, all you have to do is find out which corner I’m hiding in and hove me out into the street but until you do I’ll be in that corner corner, quietly cheering you on and eating, drinking and whispering and flushing those cigarette packs you hid in that dark corner of the closet shelf behind that awful sweater you got from your friend one Christmas that you never wear, down the loo.

  9. Kirk M says:

    @paulo1 – “playing some mind-twisting did-she-or-didn’t she, psycho-sexual game with us ??????”

    Of course she is. It’s K8 after all.

  10. Holemaster says:

    Soon enough you won’t miss them at all. I’m off them over three years and can’t imagine smoking again. The very odd blem off a spliff is all I have these days.

  11. K8 says:

    BrianF; Freak!!

    Jefferson; Yep, it’s a fine line alright.

    Jo; Yes please! Addiction is so harsh.

    KirkM; As long as you can play the Xbox, all of the above is ok with me. How do you know about that sweater?!?

    Holemaster; Gawd I so want to believe you. Three years? Fair play to you, bud. Three minutes is tough enough.

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