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Jul 28

Almost happily ever after

Posted on Thursday, July 28, 2011 in Family, Rantings

I’ve been trying to fill out this questionnaire for what seems like years now, and again here I am having become distracted by the lure of the internet… it just seems so silly, is all. It’s asking me questions about a good buddy of mine, I’ve known her since secondary school and they’re asking me intimate details about her life, her habits, her weaknesses, and any racial opinions she might have. So silly.

She’s been unlucky in love in the past, this girl. She has a herd of children by different fathers who diddled her over in their various ways but finally, finally she found an amazing fella who not only fell in love with her, but with her children too and that’s something that isn’t exactly easy to do. She married him, and is living her happily ever after with their dogs and their white picket fences and the future is finally rosy.

Except there’s one thing darkening her horizon, the fact that she now has to adopt her own children.

How bizarre is that?

This is what the questionnaire is in aid of. She’s declared me as an unrelated friend of the family and it’s now my job to let the Health Board know that she’s fit to raise her own children. It’s making me feel really uncomfortable. I mean, I know that her husband likes a few cans after a hard day working, but should I mention this? Should I keep it strictly corny and gush about her well adjusted children and not mention that her toddler eats out of the dog’s bowl occasionally?

It just seems so silly. I could write whatever I want and it might not necessarily be true… they know we’re friends, I’m not about to dump her in it am I? Perhaps they have someone tailing me to see if I’m a stand-up citizen, perhaps there’s someone else out there filling in a dumbass questionnaire about me.

Questionnaires, red tape, paperwork… I don’t know why I’m even worrying about it. It’s not like anyone will end up actually reading it, in all probability. I just feel sorry for their family. All they want to do is live, and love each other under the one surname, but they have to parade themselves and confess their weaknesses to do so.

At the same time you have crack head parents smacked up on gear on trains with sweet little children in decrepit buggies who have no ounce of security in the future, totally escaping the radar. Where’s the sense in it all, at all at all?

Bring on the comments

  1. Jo says:

    I did this for someone once… though it wasn’t their own child, ffs!

    I don’t know. They’re clearly not going to say no, so just talk up the good points.

  2. Granny says:

    Unless you have seen her baste a child in butter and shove it in oven then there is
    no reason not to write a few nice things
    an lave it alone.

  3. Ian says:

    It’s strange how the question is never asked of married couples who have children they fill with crap food, leave in front of the television all day, and give a clattering to when they don’t shut up.

  4. I bet I’ve got a recipe for child basted in butter somewhere…

  5. K8 says:

    Jo; It’s just so sad that somewhere, a tree died for this.

    Granny; I’ve often wondered what minced baby thigh would taste like.

    Ian; That radar is a VERY fickle thing.

    English Mum; The laughs of me! I bet you do, too.

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