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Jun 15

Current Affairs

Posted on Wednesday, June 15, 2011 in Family, Humourarse, Strange and Unusual

By the time we’d hit the vegetable isle, I decided I’d had enough. Sir Fartsalot was perched in the in-built trolley seat and was also looking pretty pissed off, and not knowing the laws of physics, he seemed pretty confused, too.

Every time I touched him… ZAP. Every time I touched the trolley chassis… POP. Static electriciteh on mah trolleh. Pain in the arse.


I could either:

a) Ditch the trolley and just stuff the groceries into various crevices and pockets I had hanging around, but I’dve gotten into trouble doing that.

b) Take off my shoes and socks and declare myself strange.

c) Earth the trolley somehow, some other way.

So that’s what I did. I wedged my keyring into the metal arch of the trolley wheel and arranged everything so that the keys dragged on the ground, then tested my idea by hyper-accelerating to the butcher’s department. Dubiously I touched the baby’s nose and…

…nothing. Score!

I got strange looks. Very strange looks.

“Your keys are on the ground, love” – I got. Or…

“Don’t leave them behind ya! Haha!”

I nodded, and thanked, and I felt like the biggest weirdo on the planet, but at least the electroshock therapy wasn’t getting in the way of the retail therapy any more.

Why don’t supermarket trolleys have earthing-strips?

(I realise this is an increadibly boring conversational topic, but I don’t care. I’m bored.)

Image stolen from Slavenka and Obi

Bring on the comments

  1. your pic is awesome. your like me your full of electricty.. the same happens to me when i touch my mum on the shoulder, when i touch my brothers car and dont even let me near the gas stations as i could go up in a ball of flames. a handy tip is if you rub your hands together like your trying to warm them up. that should stop the ststic o cant even touch the light switches in my house here or even the cooker. im laughing now when i thin about this but its not funny when you talk to people and they jump a mile away from ya when you touch them. waves fist stupid static

  2. its not boring you never ever boring at all kate and give sir farts a lot a wee cuddle from me as well and say hi to the family for me will ya

  3. Brianf says:

    I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. That was pretty darn clever grounding your cart like you did.
    Shopping cart = trolly
    grounding = earthing

  4. K8 says:

    Vicky; Thanks luv, I willdo. :)

    Brianf; What’s a grocery store? :-p

  5. Jo says:

    You’re a fucking genius, and I hope you’re in my survival bunker when the day comes.

  6. Baino says:

    ha ingenious. I keep zapping myself on the stair railing at work, wonder if I’d get away with a long key chain dangling from my belt.

  7. K8 says:

    Holemaster; It’s alright, I’ve already posted a trolley to myself. It was hard to wrap.

    Jo; What day? There’s a day now?! I feel so unprepared!

    Baino; Buy some Iron shoes! Hard to run in, but very good for your leg muscles and also super conductive!!

  8. Genius! That has never occurred to me – despite the frequent supermarket shocks I get. Next time I am totally earthing my trolley. Thanks :)

  9. K8 says:

    Hiya Jenny, next time instead of earthing the trolley, try sellotaping a lightbulb to it for the laugh. What untapped fun there is in your average shopping trip!

  10. Ha! If I didn’t think I’d electrocute myself, I’d go for that…

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