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Jun 9

Stoner’s brainwave

Posted on Thursday, June 9, 2011 in Family, Something to think about, Strange and Unusual

I’ve never met a mother who hasn’t feared summer-time to at least some extent. The mumblings start at this time of year, roughly a month before primary school children are released from captivity to stare blinky-eyed into the sun (or at the television), to revel in their freedom for a whole entire two months. That’s a life-time to a small child, and to it’s parents, and to it’s neighbour’s flower patch for that matter.

How to entertain one’s offspring, but? How to keep them feckin neighbour’s kids from hanging out on your shed roof and torturing your dog all the live-long day? Throwing stones at them gets you in trouble, I found that out the hard way.

I’ve had the most amazing idea in the whole world though.

When them idjits from Dragon’s Den read this they’re going to be throwing millions at me for even TWO percent of the intellectual rights to it.

Prepare to be amazed…


…I got to thinking, why not attach a giant hamster-wheel to the side of your house, but hook it up as a generator at the same time. It would entertain the kids, cure obesity and solve your energy crisis simultaneously!


Think of it this way… a half hour of television would cost ten minutes on the wheel. To re-charge a DS would cost forty-five minutes. Send the dog running on it at high speed for half an hour, and that’s your dishwasher cycle right there!


It’s an un-tapped sustainable energy source that’s just waiting to be abused and I invented it! A Nobel Prize would look lovely beside me Wii, so it would, if anyone’s asking.

(The image above is of Peter Ash and Elvis, his pet hamster, who afforded Ash talk-time on his mobile phone. I wonder how many kilo-watt hours the little smartarse himself is good for?)

Bring on the comments

  1. Granny says:

    Sorry, I shall not be investing on this one K8. Are you stealing your Husband’s medicine?

  2. K8 says:

    You’re holed up in a country-side haven though, away from the vices of bored sugared-up childr’dn. If you want, I can hoard up a score of kids to spend a day with you over the summer, you’ll see what I mean then I’m sure.

  3. K8 says:

    PS. The husband’s meds aren’t a patch on what I’m brewing up in the attic.

  4. Grandad says:

    Have you been raiding my seeds again?

  5. Brianf says:

    Ah! Better living through chemistry.

  6. That sounds like a grand idea. Would you taser them, when they slowed down? :)

    You could also use it on all of the prisoners sitting around munching on chips and watching soap operas. You could taser them with no worries. :)

  7. Holemaster says:

    Mix some valerian root into their 99s.

  8. Would have been a belter on Genius (Dragon’s den meets Viz Top Tips)

    I’ve always wanted to attach a bike to a rotary clothes line.

  9. Jo says:

    I have always thought of this – could gyms not generate their own power with all the treadmills etc? And yes, hook the excercise bike up to the tv. Don’t know why no one’s done it already!

  10. K8 says:

    Grandad; Yes.

    BrianF; Do they make a ‘bombs for dummies’ book?

    Jefferson; Good idea – there could be a self-electrification setting when the wheel slows below a certain amount of revs. That’s humane, isn’t it?

    Holemaster I like that. I wonder how bribable the icecream van man is.

    John Braine; Brilliant!! An electrified bird table would be so much fun to watch. TAT got great kicks out of that clip :)

    Jo; That’s a really clever idea. I’d pity the poor security guard who has to generate power for the cameras at night time, though.

  11. Firstly thanks again for kicking my ass and making me write a much needed blog your a true friend to have in this life.

    Secondly where do i get this little wheely thingy as i might need a hugge one to throw a few kids in to it. Now when i was younger you could never say you were bored you would either get a clip around the ear and sent outside.

    Todays kids have way to much choice. let me see xbox DSI play station but to name a few and they still say they are bored. Jaysis when edward was alive (my da) it was always drives down to the beach mucking around in the car yard in dublin city or even throwing the hurley stick up at the trees at the phoenix park knocking out conkers.

    Now i will say this i think crafts are making a welcome comeback along with face painting and few other classic board games so really kiddos you really cant be bored at all.

    (FYI) my parents never ever ever hit me ever but they did say there is no such thing as boredom.

  12. claire says:

    let the war on the banks begin ,i hate the summer the kids kill each other on the road ….

  13. K8 says:

    Hi Vicky, you were one of those fares in my taxi driving days that made the day easier, you had so much to say and your animated way of describing your convictions made me sure that blogging would be a good thing for you like it was me. I’m not sure what blogging really is now though, it has so many layers and can be a head-wreck addiction. You’ve made it your own, though and I’m glad you do it. You’re right about the kids too… there’s no such thing as boredom when Lego’s around.

    Howyeh Claire and how’s yer kitchen?? Damn straight about road wars, but throwing the few digs can be good for them I think. It stops them opening Fight Clubs when they’re older. Sorry, I shouldn’t have talked about Fight Club just there, oops.

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