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Mar 14

Car 54, where are you?

Posted on Monday, March 14, 2011 in Strange and Unusual

I went to play bingo last night. Well you might think it a sad pursuit to follow for a young woman with plenty of party in her yet, thank you very much, and you might be right, but I couldn’t not go.

Firstly, it was a game in aid of Cystic Fybrosis to build funds for a friend who’s legging it to Paris for the marathon pretty soon, so bums on seats had extra special importance that night.

Secondly, I’m weaning my baby of my booby and this is not going especially well at all. Being a Taurean, he is a very stubborn child and does not see why this plastic crap has suddenly invaded his life before bedtime, so he objects extremely loudly… a sound from which even Mary Poppins herself would need a break from now and then, even if it is only to go bingoing.

Thirdly, the waiters were all naked.

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This is a very clever idea. As the caller is announcing his two little ducks see, Mr Naked Waiter is sashaying around the place and cleverly deflecting women’s attention from the balls (as it were) with his cleverly engineered back, sack and crack wax. All I could hear throughout the night were periodic requests from various crevices in the room to repeat the last few numbers, all of which were ignored by the caller, of course.

I, however, payed attention and won three prizes! Yep… having spent the day wiping two sets of cheeks four times each free of brown matter of varying consistency, I had had my fill of arse entirely for the day… even very well shaved and artificially tanned ones that reflected the very rays from heaven itself couldn’t tempt me away from my bingo cards.

What a great night out it turned out to be! So different, so cheap. And er… great crack. Heheh.

Bring on the comments

  1. Granny says:

    Golly gosh! Bingo,never thought it
    might be my thing.

  2. Baino says:

    Dammit Kate you’re getting old. Naked bingo! Wahey . . I’m coming along next time . . did you win a meat tray?

  3. Jo says:

    Hope you made some money!

    A meat tray??

    Good luck with the weaning … it took me three and a half years!

  4. where is this bingo being played that you speak of i so wanna go to it. alas you sound like your having more fun than me. as a joke i signed up for a dating website. months back and after great hunting and patietence on my own part i think i found my own happy go lucky awesome dude to match my needs. needless to say his in asutralia but all i can say is god bless skype. now what di i do with half a dozen of gobshites that need a not so god fearing wife that will have a brush and shoval for handles and mop stuck sumwhere very uncomfortable. some guys here did i also tell you that theses were only the irish guys hee hee. have fun with the weaning. just try and take it one day at a time.

  5. K8 says:

    Granny; Normally, it wouldn’t be.

    Baino; I won a banana holder :-p

    Jo; Got him to eat beetroot today! You’da bin so proud of me. It had to be a very sudden weaning, see, for reasons that can’t be typed here. It’s a kitchen table conversation!

    Vicky; Alas but twas a once-off. Great idea for a fundraiser though, I wouldn’t be surprised to see more of them cropping up now and then! Happy skypeing in d meantime :)

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