Posted on Friday, October 15, 2010
in Strange and Unusual
I think I’ve pissed Buddha off. I fell in love with the little guy in Thailand, so I brought him home and made a little altar for him in the bog. He is surrounded by some pine cones which were lovingly painted by a three-year-old girl, a few spiky Chestnut husks and a wee glass butterfly. A shotglass holds a glob of mála, into this I stick incense, the aroma from which never hurts in bogland.
The thing is, according to behaviours spotted in Thailand I should also be leaving water with him, and tiny plates of food at mealtimes, and chunks of fresh fruit in case he gets the munchies. I should be stringing garlands of flowers around his neck and I’m guessing that exposing him to my pimply white arse at shower time is right out, considering bare shouldered women are booted right out of their Wats back home with no apologies whatsoever.
But what happens if you piss off a deity? When a Thai person finally sinks into their pillow at night after a long slog, then wakes with a start when they realise they forgot to feed Buddha… would they stay sleeping, or would they worry about the starvation of the wee statue and fret and finally get up to do the job, pushed forcibly by unending guilt? What would their mother-in-law have to say about it?
Something weird lies ahead for me and my pimply arse, I can feel it. The afterlife will find me on my hands and knees with a toothbrush, or stuck as a mosquito for all eternity. I can understand now why leaving Thailand with a copy of their deity is illegal, the mass negligence would be catastrophic, resulting in God knows Wat.
If only we Irish had the same sort of adoration in us. We’d be a whole lot nicer!