RSS Feed
Sep 16

Is there such a thing as cranial Viagra?

Posted on Thursday, September 16, 2010 in Rantings

I feel I should apologise to those of you who still read this blog.  The fact that you patiently wait for content that is sporadic at best, and you leave comments even if I don’t always have time to return them, this amazes me and I’m so unbelievably thankful to you for that loyalty.  I feel like I’m behaving a bit like a spoiled brat sometimes.

It’s not so much that my family takes up most of my time, it does, but there should always time for a quick update… I just can’t figure out what the hell I’m supposed to write about, without the end result seeming so much like a bag of shite.  There’s a constant scanning mechanism in my brain beeping away, searching for something interesting or funny to say, but my sense of humour seems to be wedged in that dark spot under the bed that is impossible to reach, even with a broken coat-hanger.  It just sits there by itself, grumbling and gathering fluff and won’t come back out of its own accord no matter how much coaxing I do.

Blogging is just so difficult all of a sudden!  Content must be original, interesting, heartfelt without being maudlin.  It must be brief and memorable, and true.  It can’t be re-gurgitated, can’t be contrite or honest in a negative way unless a healthy dose of vitriol is involved (vitriol to me might as well be a brand of cough-medicine though, it just doesn’t appeal to me at all at all), and it can’t be so sweet it makes your teeth ache.    I have worry.  I have stress and boredom and niggling doubt all rolled up in a gooey ball.  I have negative thoughts that don’t go down too well in blogs, and gripes about people and things that should not be written about.  Apart from that, there are dodgy YouTube clips and stupid Facebook applications filling the rest of the fug.

I think The Secret Fire killed it for me.  The pressure to create something as good as, or better than that post is almost impossible, a fact that one or two people have pointed out to me before.  This truth feeds my insecurities and I agree with them, and feel like giving up because it’s so unlikely that the planets will align themselves again so perfectly.  But I don’t give up, even if I probably should.  Maybe some day the Mojo will come back, maybe it won’t.

So I suppose the rest is in the hands of Saint Jude, and in the meantime, thank you so much for hanging in there!

Bring on the comments

  1. Grandad says:

    Your problem is a) you are trying too hard and b) you are being too hard on yourself. You are a great writer, and quite honestly I think if you just wrote out a shopping list you would make it entertaining.

    This ain’t about constantly improving or churning out excellence. I’m sure all the great writers had the same thoughts after they published their first book?

    Feckit, Kid. Forget about standards, and just write! Just so long as you don’t write the bad stuff about me. I’ll only deny it anyway.

  2. Gingermick says:

    Yeah. The old coot is correct. I don’t care what you write, just write it. You’re a good’un, lady.

  3. Grandad’s right… although I absolutely know how you feel – and I don’t have kids! I’ve been finding it hard recently too. The new site helped for a few weeks but now the novelty’s worn off I’m back to square one!

  4. K8 says:

    Grandad; You’re so encouraging! It’s thinking too much, that’s the problem. I just need a few knocks on the noggin with a frying pan just like wot I got wen i woz a kid.

    Gingermick; Thanks bro, I’m working on it.

    Jenny; A new site. That’s a good idea! If even temporary.

  5. paulo1 says:

    Stop thinking so much. There’s a saying in golf that you can totally fuck yourself into a state of paralysis by analysis. Just write, we’ll enjoy it, don’t you worry.

  6. Holemaster says:

    Your problem is you’re intelligent AND creative. You are a really gifted writer K8 and you have immense insight and wisdom. It’s an absolute joy to read your blog and I can tell that your parents were a big part of making you the person you are. You have great freedom of thought and you care deeply for the people and the world around you. You’re also very funny and have a healthy dark side which gives your writing a Dahl-like quality.

    I will selfishly implore you to keep going. There will be times of drought and times of plenty. That is the way the mind works. It needs to rest sometimes, like the trees and plants do in the winter.

  7. It’s the occasional blogs, like cackaloo, that are my favourites. People who post when they’ve something interesting to post about rather than people who write something, anything, every day. Though some of those can be impressively consistent on a daily basis, I tend to favour the ones that pop into my reader to say hello every now and then.

  8. Jo says:

    Nonsense, Kate. Nonsense. The mere fact that you’re not posting about nappies, sleep deprivation and the toughness of your lot is admirable, if not miraculous.

    I totally agree with Grandad. I don’t think the people who read here grade the posts … it’s not like, hmm, this was less entertaining than the last one, or the one three times before that … she’s slipping.

    I just want to hear what you want to say, it’s not about quality!

  9. The lot of them are right on, Kate. You are a brilliant writer! Quit knocking yer self! I reckon everyone I know that has a blog is in a bit of a funk right now, but it’ll pass.

    Write from the heart. If you do that, you’ll blow our minds every time. Write what you feel compelled to write. My new found attitude is, if they don’t like it, feck ’em. :)

  10. Brianf says:

    My confirmation name is Jude.
    :)
    Write what ya’ feel like writing. I’ll read it.

  11. K8 says:

    Paulo1; Be the ball :) Gottit.

    Holemaster; Calling me a plant now? You startin’?

    John Braine; That’s good to know, thanks, I feel the same way meself. I dunno where I’d be without me feedreader!

    Jo; It’s me is the critic – I’ve a little Simon Cowell in my head telling me not to quit the day job. That would make you my Jo Osborne (heehee:)

    Jeffo; It’s true about the funk, it’s a bit epidemic sometimes. If Pluto was still a planet we wouldn’t have this problem!

    Brianf; The world would be boring if t’were not for lost causes.

Leave a Reply

Gravityscan Badge