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May 24

The one that got away

Posted on Monday, May 24, 2010 in Family, Philosophy, Taboo

People get really disturbed when I curse in front of my n00b kid. I mean, it’s not like I’m corrupting his innocence… babies have a perpetual orb of purity around them until they’re old enough to understand their first episode of Tom and Jerry and besides! curse words are very beautiful phonetically speaking.

Fuck. It’s lovely the way the f slides so neatly into the k like that, like the sound a golf ball connecting with a perfect 9 Iron swing would make, or the noise made by the bonnet of a very expensive car when you try to slam it shut. I reckon I’m doing the kid a favour by including as many sounds and words as possible while his brain’s developing as it is. That’s why my standard reply to scorning parents is ‘Ask me bollix’. It’s in the name of education.

Here be photos of d’holliers. No animal was harmed in their making.

Swingish

Joey

Pushme

Nuns

Jameson Distillery

Giraffish

Burd

Photobucket

TAT got very excited when Barney arrived on the scene. He wanted a photograph of him decking the big purple freak right on the jaw, but Barney caught wind of this and ran like fuck. It’s impressive how fast that dinosaur can run what with all that stuffing and stuff.

Bring on the comments

  1. jaysus that Barney is awfully scary!

  2. Granny says:

    Me wants one a dem big blue swing swangs!Barnie
    is a feckin ejit!

  3. Baino says:

    How awesome is that swing? Yeh Barney can go fuck Dorothy the Dinosaur for all I care. . er no then there would be little purple yellow and brown dinos and we must do all within our power to prevent them from breeding! Hey,you gotta roo!

  4. Jo says:

    Thought process on viewing post:

    Impressive sound descriptions of word fuck, here, here.

    Aw, smiley boy, lovely photos, queen of the penguins!

    AGHGGHGH JAYSUS, BARNEY, that’s a bit too fucking scary,

    heh, I’m sure whoever’s inside him is well used to it.

    End impressions.

  5. K8 says:

    Jelly Monster; He’s just asking for a tin of lighter fluid and a box of matches isn’t he?

    Granny; They have that swingy type thing in Loughrea too, only other place I’ve seen it. You just don’t get quality playgrounds on the east coast it seems.

    Baino; I was yearning for your input when we saw that roo – wanting so much to go and pet him but not knowing whether baby Joeys are likely to box or not!

    Jo; What do you mean whoever’s inside him?!? That’s the REAL Barney!!!! Heeee…

  6. Fuck. It’s lovely the way the f slides so neatly into the k like that, like the sound a golf ball connecting with a perfect 9 Iron swing would make

    I love this comparison – it’s just so spot on! And yes, I concur: that Barny is terrifying!

  7. unstranger says:

    I concur; your description of the sound is superb.

  8. Holemaster says:

    Great pics. Looks like Puppy Child is doing stand-up for the Penguins.

    Fuck Barney.

  9. Barney never ceases to scare the fuck outta me! Or the person inside the suit for that matter. Tenner bets theres some weirdo in there.

  10. Brianf says:

    There are Kangaroos, Puffins and Giraffes in those photos!!! What did I tell you about keeping exotic animals in the housing estate?

  11. K8 says:

    Jenny and Unstranger; Why spank you.

    Holemaster; I tried. Another Barney sprouted in place of the fucked one. He’s sempiternal.

    JohnPlayerPlz; Hiyeh and ta for commenting :) Yep I know what you mean, that invisible person is creepy… it’s always the quiet ones.

    Brianf; I charge the neighbours to see them, it’s a great little nixer!

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