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Apr 15

The Pyjama Gang

Posted on Thursday, April 15, 2010 in Rantings

If there were such things as fashion police, who would they be and how would they enforce basic fashion sense?  Like those depressing notices you see in hospitals and Post Offices telling people that indecent behaviour will not be tolerated – in modern society, in a reasonably intelligent world, there should be no need for notices like these.

I now live in what could be called the arsehole of what was a quiet rural communtity.  It’s a lovely place to live in if you ask me, a small housing estate that keeps itself to itself with ivy decorating trellised walls and planters holding pretty exotic grasses adorning the doorsteps.  There is just one phenomenon that irks people of our surrounding hinterland no end… the pyjama gang.

These are a small gang of teen-aged girls that just happen to be travellers.  Nope, I’m not going to go on another rant about travellers because I’m too damn tired and I couldn’t be arsed.  Whether it’s a coincidence that these kids won’t be told or not, that’s up to your own judgement.  Fact of the matter is, a few locals have pointed the phenomenon out to me in dismay, and seem to have elected me the fashion gardai.  What the fuck am I supposed to do? 


This is Elaine Carmody, a lady who is the victim of a recent fashion shut-down in a Tesco outlet in Cardiff.  She was booted out on her ear for wearing her PJs during a brief attempt to buy smokes from the store.  Other news stories declare parental dismay at the fact that some people couldn’t be arsed to get dressed to bring their kids to school.  There’s a flat-out blanket ban on pyjamas in Shanghai, China.  But – what is the difference between pyjamas and tracksuit bottoms?  Is this new invention of pyjama jeans included?

If pyjamas are banned on the basis that they look stupid, shouldn’t spandex cycling gear also qualify? 

In the case of my local pyjama gang however, the problem runs deeper.  They don’t wear pyjamas to the local shops because they’re too lazy to wear clothes, they wear them because they have bigger pockets.  There’s me being all racial again!  Just because they’re travellers, doesn’t mean they’re out to rob everyone!!!


I interviewed the dude in the local shop in the hopes that he too might introduce basic clothing laws, but he spent our conversation venting a huge lament over his loss of stock to dressing-gown pockets, and telling me how much his new CCTV system cost.  The suggestion to ban such clothing was lost on him, I guess I’ll try again when he’s calmed down a bit.

So, I suppose my question is, if I were to tackle these girls again to ask them for the basic courtesy of getting dressed before they leave the house, how do I bridge the gap that is the bleedin’ obvious?  Do I point and laugh??  Do I hire goons to knock on their doors late at night?  Even if I could get the leopard to change its spots, who’s to say the new spots won’t have deeper pockets!

Why am I bothered anyway?  Oh yeah… pride and sense of decency.  Damn it.

Bring on the comments

  1. Conall says:

    Right away, my instincts tell me to agree with you. Burn the bloody wretches. *&[email protected] insert rant here &*^%@@*. But I’m forced to consider the fundamental right everyone has to wear whatever they want. Which is annoying. It’s like that slippery annoying git who hides behind a basic fact or concept to win an argument. Like the kid who says Pigs are natural and nature is beautiful, so if you call me a pig, I’ll take it as a compliment.. Thats a nice example, but turn it into an idiot who gormlessly grins while annoyingly refuses to acknowledge reason. That’s what these pyjama wearing wastes of space are doing. They know it’s annoying, but that’s why they do it. What they do is not wrong, but their motive is. Which makes all the more harder to bear. Fuck them. Hopefully one day they’ll buy a highly flammable pair of pyjamas and walk past a candle shop on the way to the off-license. Poof. problem would be gone.

    Anyway, it’s not you they are proving indecent. It’s them. But then again, there are way more indecent things in this world, and if that could be the sum of our problems, oh a wonderful life it would be.

  2. Granny says:

    Jesus wore a long kaftanny thingy as did all his gang,Leave the girls be and go pack the
    maternity bag.

  3. K8 says:

    Conall, you’re dead right, small beans. But, I don’t think they’re doing it as an ‘in yo face’ sort of anarchy, more because they just don’t care. Like someone who chucks the contents of their car ashtray out of the window instead of into a bin, it just riles me. Plus the fact that I’m a representative of this housing estate in a way, I feel partly responsible, as though I’m protecting a standard. It’s hard to explain!

    Granny, Ah hauld yer whisht, sure haven’t I my disposable nightie bought today and that’s half the packing done right there! Might even wear it to Tescos to break it in a bit…

  4. Jo says:

    Lol, disposable nightie in Tesco. Clean up on aisle 3!

    My friend said, in the eighties, when they were on holiday in France, that her father hated her legwarmers with a passion.

    But he didn’t say anything to her. No. He just told her mother they were what all the French prostitutes were wearing.

    Off! Get them off!!

    You need some psychological master stroke like that.

  5. Baino says:

    We had a reporter here actually mosey around town in her PJ’s and nobody batted an eyelid! I suspect they’re just doing it for ‘effect’ if they really wanted decent pockets, they’d be wearing cargo pants. You could suggest that!

  6. K8 says:

    Jo; This is true… politicians should start wearing pyjamas publically to increase their naff factor. In the meantime I’m thinking about a paint-gun.

    Baino; In Australia it’s hot though, damn hot. Here you can’t help but wonder if flannel’s such a good idea! It’s fierce absorbent.

  7. The pajama/slippers ban has been on in schools here in Southern California for many a year now. It’s old hat. Now we have a blanket ban in some schools. No, I don’t mean an all-encompassing ban of some sort, I mean a ban on blankets. Yep, after pajamas and slippers were banned, the kids took to wearing those fleece blankets, the ones with Disney character prints and what-not on them, to school. High school. It got so bad the Spouse wondered if we were living on a reservation, and then speculated on getting us all inoculated first and handing out smallpox blankets. So beware, the blankets will be next, if they have not already arrived.

  8. K8 says:

    Fierce eco-friendly though, no more school heating bills?!?

  9. Hahahaha, “school heating bills,” hahahahaha… Oh, you meant over there. Over here they only have school air conditioning bills. No, really, it’s called a jacket. It’s not like these kids can’t afford jackets, and it’s not like we have weather here in Southern California. I was just telling the Spouse Sparrow the other day that when we move to Norn Iron he better get used to me going “Oh my god! RAIN!!!” because as a native Southern Californian, rain is just… whoa, it’s like, totally rad, dude. I’m having a hard time even picturing living someplace where water just falls from the sky. It’s like “Dune,” but with sprinklers and lawns and no sand worms.

  10. Holemaster says:

    There is only one solution to this K8.


  11. Holemaster says:

    What a minute, what am I saying, I don’t want to see any of these people in a bikini.

  12. K8 says:

    Fat Sparrow; Yet the irony is that here we’re warned about water shortages, and soon they’re going to start charging us for the stuff. W**kers.

    Holemaster; Considering some of them even manage to expose a camel toe in pyjama bottoms, I wouldn’t blame you.

  13. Irmhild says:

    I saw a woman in pyjamas in mothercare (maternity and baby shop) the other day! and no, it wasn’t that she was too sleep deprived to get out of her pyjamas and had to run to the shop to get something quickly! her hair was combed, she wore full make up, big ear rings, and the pyjamas were tucked into boots! I’m sure they were pyjamas, they had pink bunnies or mice or something printed on them!

    i really don’t get it. i even disagree with wearing tracksuit bottoms, except for sports, or maybe a very quick run to the local shop, or if you’re staying in your house. but people now seem to have ‘good tracksuits’ for going out, and do whole day shopping excursions to town in their trackies. i’ve even seen tracksuit pants in church!

    i used to wonder what would be next, if tracksuits are fine now, and pyjamas frowned upon, so in a few years when everybody wears pyjamas out, it’s blankets i’m watching out for!?

  14. K8 says:

    I blame Juicy Couture. Nothing drives the point home stronger than a four year old with ‘juicy’ written across her tiny tracksuited ass. Ick.

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