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Sep 16

Tit for TAT

Gerry Ryan actually stopped talking about himself for long enough to let a very interesting subject through on his radio show this morning.  That subject was male breastfeeding.  Yes, that’s male lactation.

A young man named Ragnar Bengtsson, a Swedish father of a two year old boy has decided to conduct an experiment on himself to see if he can produce breastmilk in order to supply his future children.  His theory is that if he stimulates his moobs on a three-hourly basis (playing havoc with his image at college), by December he should have stimulated enough hormones to produce milk.

This has been done before, apparently.  In some cultures where powdered milk is unavailable, the death at birth of a baby’s mother has led its father to suckle the infant successfully to weaning stage.  This fact amazes me… that throughout history, and in some parts of the world today, men are breastfeeding babies.

Three things are needed for boob-juice.  Mammary glands, a Pituitary gland, and a hormone called Prolactin, normally produced by the Pituitary gland in the later stages of pregnancy.  Men have (potentially) all of the above, given that they are born with the first two, the third requirement can in theory be stimulated into action without the help of artificial hormones.

I wish this guy the best of luck, without any fear of this idea taking off in Ireland whatsoever.  Sweden’s male to female roles in the workplace are quite the reverse of what’s happening here, with 90% of women in the workforce and 16 months of paid maternity/paternity leave in most, if not all jobs in the country.  This means that the concept of the ‘stay at home dad’ is far more liberal there.  Children therefore bond with both male and female role models which can only be a healthy thing.

In Ireland however, men hold on to their well ‘ard image tightly while still wishing they were curled up in somebody’s womb.  Most would happily pass a law against public breastfeeding, seeing it as an abomination, the destruction of the true purpose of breasts – the titty wank.  It’s probably an unhealthy mindset, but I’m a sucker (sucker, gettit?) for butch.  If I caught TAT suckling our future new-born child I fear I would grab that child and run as far away as possible from the beardy freak.  But then, I’m not Swedish.

Having a child suckle a hairy boob, that’s an entirely eerie concept.  Yes it produces skin-to-skin contact which is excellent for a baby’s psychological growth, but it somewhat blurs the idea of a nurturing mother, doesn’t it?

Then again, there are many women out there who don’t like the idea of breastfeeding for the fear it will saggify their breasts and muck up their nipple alignment which is devastatingly entirely true.  Some don’t do it because they don’t have time, others are completely horrified with the idea.  Isn’t it the right thing to do for the father of the baby to give breastfeeding a go if this is the case?  Far healthier for the child, and daddy gets a taste of that wonderful bonding feeling that is a totally unique experience.  It’s win-win, isn’t it?

Isn’t it?!?!?

PS… I’ve discovered via a link on the article’s web-page, that breast cancer among Swedish women has DOUBLED since the 1960’s.  Coincidence or Kismet?  I wonder…

Bring on the comments

  1. Ah, I’ve heard about this… the body’s a strange thing, isn’t it? Actually I wasn’t even aware until recently that childless women could stimulate lactation in themselves (should they wish to), but apparently they can.

    I wonder if male breast milk has the same nutritional value as female breast milk…

  2. Baino says:

    Wrong in so many ways . . then it might give the fellas a slightly different perspective on the fun bags.

  3. GrowUp says:

    Huh? Nothing wrong with breastfeeding, public or otherwise. Though refusing to breastfeed for reasons of vanity kind of suggests that one’s heart isn’t in the whole having kids thing, given that it is the optimal solution for the youngster.

    Nothing wrong with stay at home dads. I do think that blokes are fundamentally lazier, and we don’t actually have the ability to see dust though, so the homestead might not be up to female code, but we have the advantage that all the snipey comments about it from mother in laws will go completely over our blasé heads.

  4. Jennifer says:

    The words “hairy boobs” and “boob juice” made me laugh out loud.
    Forgot how interesting/funny/mad this blog can be. must come back more often.

  5. holemaster says:

    I was reading until ‘Titty Wank’. The I, eh, I eh….

  6. Apt. Gerry Ryan the biggest man-tit there is.

  7. K8 says:

    Jenny; It seems Ragnar’s wondering that too… it would be a total kick in the balls if he was stuck with two breastfulls of ‘blank’ milk. Forever doomed to Ripley’s believe it or not…

    Baino; I dunno – I feel it would give them a certain smugness if anything.

    Grow Up; In an equal society free of matriarchal advice, the Mother in Law ideal would be extinct, wouldn’t it? No more strange underhanded comments about one’s curtains… bliss!

    Jennifer; Please do!! Heehee

    Holemaster; Yes I put that there just for you. :)

    Xbox4NappyRash; Yep, not a maternity bra in the world big enough to hold that ego.

  8. Jo says:

    I’m freaked out by that breast cancer statistic. That fucks with all my theories. Oh dear.

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