RSS Feed
Sep 11

The post in which K8 is told to bugger off

I went back to the Megalithic Tomb today, this time armed with bad-ass thorn resistant gardening gloves and a heady thirst for archaeology.

I worked hard for an hour, and was delighted to find a sapling Hawthorn tree, almost strangled completely with ivy.  I freed it up to give it room to grow, and sent it some energy as you do… then began to work on the area around the entrance to the tomb to see if I could get inside.

A car pulled up on the road beside the field in which I was working.

“OI!!!  What are you at?!” a woman in a silver car shouted from her driver’s seat.  As I approached, she wound her window up to within four inches, as though I was about to attack her from the other side of a heavily barbed fence.  She had a face on her like a Chihuahua chewing on an earwig.

“I’m very sorry to trespass… I…”

“You’re not trespassing!” she interrupted.

“I found this tomb over-run with brambles and thought I might take it upon myself to clean it up.”  I smiled my prettiest smile.

“You have no business doing that!” she shrieked.  “I’m sick of young ruffians coming in like they own the place and destroying everything, sick of it!!”

“I promise you, I’m no ruffian” I replied; “I used to be an archaeology student and this sort of thing fascinates me.  I’m destroying nothing, only cleaning the place up.  I’m very proud of it.”

“I’m proud of it too, so GO AWAY! When one comes in to wreck the place, the rest of them follow”  she shouted.

“I didn’t mean to offend…”

“Well then GO AWAY” she shouted even louder.  I began to get slightly pissed off.

“Look, if you don’t let me do this, then I can’t find a way to protect it.  The Council could come in tomorrow and bulldoze the lot and we’d lose a seriously amazing piece of history.”

“It is protected!”

“I don’t believe it is… I looked on the archaeology information website and can’t find any record of it.”

“SO WHAT?!” she scowled.

“So… could you tell me how I can get permission to access the tomb to clean it up and protect it?”

“You can’t have permission!!  GO AWAY!!”  She smiled a demonic sort of smile and shut her window.  End of conversation.  I walked away, furious.


What are the politics behind this?  Does anybody know?  If I’m not trespassing then who is she to tell me to leave?

I hope the tomb faeries break the pistons on her crappy little car.  Stupid bint.


So close, yet so far.

Bring on the comments

  1. What a bitch! Believe in karma, the faeries will do their work.

  2. GrowUp says:

    She was clearly scared of what you might find. Is her long lost hubby buried there perhaps?

  3. K8 says:

    Jonathan; Welcome, ta for commenting :) I sincerely hope they visit her in the nighttime and steal every single one of her left-foot socks.

    GrowUp; Aw, dude, c’mon! Turning it into a potential murder mystery just makes it worse!!!

  4. Baino says:

    She’s probably on some exclusive committee to protect ancient artifacts and you haven’t paid your subscription you naughty girl.

  5. TheChrisD says:

    Who the fuck does she think she is? The National Heritage…?

  6. K8 says:

    Baino; I’m pretty sure that she herself is an ancient artifact.

    The Chris D; Oooh nice one, thanks, I’d forgotten about those people.

  7. I hope you’re going to ignore her. Were you dressed like a ruffian?

  8. How rude! If it isn’t her land, I don’t see how she has a leg to stand on. I say you should just go back and carry on. Legally, she’s no more right to the land than you do. Though she does sound a bit scary…

  9. K8 says:

    Emerging Writer; Hi and welcome! I’m always dressed like a ruffian… I have a very high respect for scruffiness.

    Jenny; She had this strange look of pure hate in her eyes… the rebel in me wants to return and hide if I hear engines approaching, but respect is an issue too – do unto others etc. I’d love to know what the law has to say about it. She was a very weird lady.

    She reminded me of the mother from ‘The Goonies’, y’know? Dodgy.

  10. Brianf says:

    Hey she said you were not trespassing so fuck her. Keep on with your cleaning brambles.

  11. Christian says:

    It doesn’t sound like she’s proprietor of the land at all, just an “interested” passer-by who feels she has vested interest in the territory. I used to live in an apartment complex, and a woman living upstairs of me felt she had groundskeeping jurisdiction, whereas the landlord assured me she did not. Therefore: I was given license to ignore her random mandates and stern advisory. Similarly, if you’re not trespassing and the person ordering you to GO AWAY declines to identify themselves or their specific authority, they’re invited to fuck themselves and you can continue with your documented preservation of the tomb.

  12. Kirk M says:

    I certainly hope you continue with your judicious clearing of the site. And if she stops by again, just ignore her. I doubt she’ll try getting out of the car considering she wouldn’t even leave the window rolled down to shout at you.

  13. Holemaster says:

    She was a ghost from the Megalithic period K8. She was banned from the tomb, even in death for questioning the structural integrity of the corballis roofing system. After death she was condemned to limbo and now drives around stopping people from going too near megalithic tombs.

    There is a similar story to yours dating from the early 1600s but in the woman in that instance was on horseback.

  14. Jo says:


    So, were you dressed like a young ruffian? Shiny tracksuit n’ cider in hand?

    At least she gave you ‘young’…

  15. K8 says:

    Brian F; I think I might just do that.

    Christian; I suppose the question remains as to who this lady actually is. People in small towns have power beyond our wildest imaginations, but then again, so do bored mothers with too much time on their hands. Perseverance it is!

    Kirk M; This is true, but the power of a very annoying voice is not to be underestimated. Anyway, she seems like the type who might own bulls who could be unleashed on the slightest whim, far more powerful than the local plod.

    Holemaster; I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Her haircut was truly pre-Christian.

    Jo; You know I never thought of that! I had the hoop earrings too, don’t forget the hoop earrings.

Leave a Reply

Gravityscan Badge