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Aug 30

Messed up

Posted on Sunday, August 30, 2009 in Rantings, Strange and Unusual

Today I smashed the plates and glasses and drove a sledgehammer right into the center of the television set and put all the cutlery in the microwave and set them to cook on full power and threw cans of lighterfluid into the fire and crushed bottles of nailvarnish underfoot and emptied the bin into the bathtub and ripped all the curtains off their rails and threw them in the fire too.  Then I used the nesting tables to break the windows and smash up the computer and then I pulled the refrigerator from the wall and tipped it forward so that all the contents spilled and smashed on the cold tile floor and I danced the macarena in the mess.

Then I woke from my daydream and continued stirring the compost-heap.

You know you’re a social cripple when the highlight of your day is cleaning out the guinea-pig‘s cage.


Seriously, things are becoming that bad, I’m starting to develop a crush on Handy Manny.


Bring on the comments

  1. What would we do without daydreams? ;)

    I feel a bit like that today – it’s almost the end of the school holidays! Does it work the other way round for parents?

  2. Naoise says:

    Hey I dunno about Handy Manny. Cute, sexy voice, dependable, loyal, handy around the house, patient, bi-lingual. What’s not to like, apart from the annoying tools?

  3. Kirk M says:

    I actually did something like that once…right before I got rid of my first wife.

  4. unstranger says:

    Yep, you’re messed up alright.

  5. K8 says:

    Jenny; Despite having to get up unnaturally early from now on, school’s kind of a relief! It was starting to feel like Groundhog Day around here.

    Naoise; If only I could get his mind of that Kelly woman… he’d be all mine. The tools go in the shed without food or water.

    Kirk M; I’m thinking Roseanne Barr in ‘She-Devil’? Yes that looks like fun, and very much to the point.

    Unstranger; Two stubbed toes away from a straightjacket I fear.

  6. Maxi Cane says:

    If you actually do it, you could blame PMS. I can’t though.

    Stupid community service.

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