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Aug 29

Fluffy inevitability

Posted on Saturday, August 29, 2009 in munchies, Rantings

There it is… the most perfect sandwich in the world.

Thick crusty brown bread coated with a thin layer of green pesto.
Rashers grilled to the point where the rind is slightly opaque and mouth-meltingly crunchy.
A fried egg, sunny side up.
Chopped rocket lettuce for that extra zing…
… and one or two slices of fresh mozzerella.

All of this, warmed to utopian status in the George Foreman until the cheese has become one with the yumminess, and the kitchen is filled with a smell that would wake the heaviest of sleepers with its heady aroma.

Cut into triangles and sprinkled with dried basil, ready to go.

Then you see it.

You’ve taken your first bite and you see it, it’s like a cruel slap in the face.  It’s all you can taste now.

That teeny tiny spot of green mould on the bread… hairy and gross.  Something else has already started eating your sandwich and cutting just that little part off isn’t an option, because it’s probably somewhere else, hidden, laughing at you with its fluffy inevitability.

Straight into the dog’s bowl with what would have been an excellent lunch, the kettle goes on for a cup-a-soup because anything else is just too heartbreaking, dammit.

sandwich

Bring on the comments

  1. Nick says:

    Nothing wrong with a spot of mould. That’s what penicillin came from after all. In fact a few spots of mould would probably immunise you against swine flu for months.

  2. K8 says:

    Sorry, but I refuse to eat anything associated with the word ‘spore’. Retch.

  3. Hails says:

    Ah, no. You just pick it out and then don’t look too closely at the sandwich as you eat the rest of it. :)

  4. That might have been the new cure for H1N1. :)

  5. Brighid says:

    Geez, it immunizes you from the nasties!

  6. K8 says:

    So you’re all saying you happily eat mould infested bread and think nothing of it?!?

    You lot are weird.

  7. Baino says:

    K8 totally with you although bread doesn’t last that long with 6 foot of hunger machine in the house. I have a friend who cuts the mouldy bits off cheese too! Bleagh. Bin it I say!

  8. Brianf says:

    K8 I’m with you. If I pick off the mouldy bit then I always think there’s more lurking in the dark just waiting for me to eat it.

  9. Kirk M says:

    I agree, just pick off the moldy bit and eat heartily. That could be part of the “notes” at the bottom of sandwich recipe.

    blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah.

    Note: If spot of hairy nasty mold is seen on the bread, just pick it off and eat it anyway.

    And have you ever heard of blue cheese? Whatcha’ think the “blue” is? BTW, did you design the sandwich in the picture yourself? if so…nice job!

  10. Holemaster says:

    Yark! Mould puts me off too. Whole loaves of lovely bread lost to one spot of mould. My lady friend objects though. She’d eat anything.

  11. K8 says:

    Baino; See but cheese is different, because it sort of is one big block of mould really. Also it has no teensy holes for mould to hide in, you either see it or you don’t. Predictable foodstuff!

    Brianf; Yehaa – once you see that tiny spot, the smell gets planted and the whole thing’s screwed! Sensible bloke.

    Kirk M; Blue cheese tastes very strange though, smells a bit like an infected ingrown toenail. I don’t trust it.
    No that’s not my sandwich sadly, but I may experiment what with the kids starting school next week… hmmmm.

    Holemaster; Don’tya hate it when you discover that mould spot and you investigate the rest of the loaf and you find that weird futuristic gossamer webbing stuff inside? You know your bread’s off when it smells like a forest.

  12. unstranger says:

    Disaster K8, been there done that too. I emphatise for sure.

  13. K8 says:

    It’s the ducks I feel sorry for.

  14. Maxi Cane says:

    This post would have been so much hotter if you had gone on to eat it.

    Using phrases like:

    “Munching the fluff with abandon”

    “Wiping the juices from my chin as I sat back completely satisfied”

    and

    “ejaculate”

    Have I taught you nothing?

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