Posted on Saturday, July 4, 2009
in Family, Jobs, Rantings
Something pissed me off last week. More than anything has pissed me off in ages, in fact. It was a stupid thing, borne of stupidity and stupid circumstances.
It was a text message from Carpenter Dude, and the translation from TAT… something along the lines of ‘woman… know your place’. I don’t know, I wasn’t about to read the text.
What you have, my loyal readers, is ‘one of the lads’, I’m a girl’s girl, but also a man’s girl. I’m in that lucky 50-50 position. I play poker and Playstation and the Sexbox and I change tyres by the roadside in the rain quite happily (who doesn’t like wet nuts?). I also like small fluffy animals and am quite partial to a well designed pair of funky shoes. 50 – 50. Most of the company I keep is of the male persuasion, but I have an ultimately female neighbour (with wine) to maintain the balance, a perfect existence for me.
Paint and hinges threw that the fuck out of whack however.
Hinges are hinges. Some are easy, some you have to hang, then re-measure and re-screw and then re-measure and re-screw again. Carpenter Dude did not like the fact that I knew this, Carpenter Dude is oldskool. This was not my place. He also did not like the fact that I don’t like white. When new unit #2 was installed and I returned from my (ever so kind) escapist ventures from drillage and sawing hell, only to find that everything had been coated with white gloss, I ventured an alternative opinion.
Woman, know your place.
Colour is bad. So is feminism, but it also has its place.
It’s interesting though, from a vox-pop of everyone who visits my house, it seems that the only people who like white, are mothers, mother-in-laws, and blokes. Whearas the first two are to be expected, I’m surprised at the blokes, especially TAT, a man who once painted the entire inside of his bachelor pad in gloss marijuana green.
I’m told not to go out and buy paint, to leave it to the men to decide.
I went to my neighbour’s house, she fed me with Vodka and Ginger, she told me that while men may be the head of the household, women are always the neck… we can turn that head in whichever direction we choose. She also told me that should my dog ever die of poisoning, I should stay the fuck away from my house. She is indeed a very wise woman.
To that effect, I’ve gotten busy not with paint, but with Paintshop. Why trawl aroud Woodies with swatches when I can just get pissed on Guinness and fart around with a computer program?
This is my living room as she is now…
As boring as the subject may be, it’s my living room, my obsession, my need to be different. White just doesnt’ match! Twenty minutes on Photoshop has spewed forth this:
Nothing grabs my interest yet, but it’s early days.
Woman might be good at darning socks and making babies and cooking, but if Carpenter Dude ever wants free website from Woman, Carpenter Dude can whistle.