Posted on Tuesday, June 23, 2009
in Strange and Unusual
Mobile phones. Bits of plastic with coilish gizmos inside and fiddly number pads that keep falling off. Predictive texting that has no sympathy whatsoever for drunken thumbs. Annoying, dangerously distracting yokes that will most likely kill us all slowly with brain cancer or mid-lane collisions that we rely on for every single bit of numerical order and calendar placement, but that we can’t do without, no matter how obnoxious we feel when we use them. As with everything however, there is a bright side, in this case, it’s the mis-placed text. I live for these and I don’t care what that makes me, not even one little bit.
The most recent mis-placed conversation sounded something like this;
Texter – I left the key under the mat so you can get in
Me (bored out of my tree) – Nice one, where do you live and do you have contents insurance?
Texter – ha ha thats funny
Me – I’m serious.
Texter – Andrew?
Me – I sold Andrew for a heroin fix.
Texter – Good for u
Me – I thought so.
Texter – Sorry i got wrong number but glad u are happy
Me – Me too.
Texter – Are you a chick?
Me – Hang on till I check…
Texter – Youre a bit strange arnt you?
Me – Thanks for noticing, yes I am.
Texter – Hows that working out for u?
Me – Better since I met Andrew and made him my bitch.
Texter – Andrew’s MY bitch.
Me – Not any more.
Texter – How old r u?
Me – Don’t change the subject.
Texter – Ha ha bye weirdo have a nice life!
Me – Thanks! Luv you xxx
Texter – I luv u too xxx
That was the last I heard from him or her, as is usually the case. Once I think I may have talked somebody down after a nasty acid downer, but I can’t be sure, there are a lot of weirdos out there, present company included.
Two confused people taking random stabs in the dark, a conversation that would never happen on the Dart, or on a public pathway, or at the tills in the local supermarket. How great this age of communication is!!
How great free texting is, too.