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Apr 3

The chicken who almost crossed the road

Posted on Friday, April 3, 2009 in Quickie, Strange and Unusual

What made her do it?

-Was it the recession?  Did stress stem her egg production and lead her to suicide?

-Did she really want to know what was on the other side?

-Was she the victim of a dare?

All I know is that I was minding my own business driving at a fair lick on the N11 when a brown streak ran underneath my fore-left tyre and died quickly.  My rear view mirror showed a cloud of brown feathers as the articulated truck behind almost crashed.  It was as though somebody shot a pillow point-blank.

I was involved in a hit-and-run, and I feel terrible.

That’s all I have to say about that.

PS. Shortly afterwards I was to be found wandering down the median strip of a dual-carriageway on a completely unrelated matter.  If you beeped at a lady wearing a white hoodie and looking very confused, that was me.  I’ve had a very weird morning, but you’ve probably already gathered that.

Bring on the comments

  1. there’s a feather in your hair…

  2. Maxi Cane says:

    has anyone seen my birdie?

  3. stipes says:

    Always a guilty sign that, returning to the scene of the crime

  4. The patriarchy forced this decision on the chicken.

  5. K8 says:

    Yes my Indian name is Little Chief Squashing Bird. The feather stays.

  6. K8 says:

    I ate her with some fava beans and a nice bottle of scotch. The scotch took my mind off the tarmac grit.

  7. K8 says:

    I had to come back with a spatula, see. Giblets are on me.

  8. K8 says:

    That chicken was moving like shit off a shovel… I’d say it got the beady eye from Darina Allen and got the heebyjeebies.

  9. Baino says:

    Chicken soup for the soul . . I hate running over things, it’s that bumpetty-sqelch that gets me every time! Then there’s the hours of scraping wabbit gloop off the bumper bar. But they deserve it . . they stop running half way across.

  10. Jo says:

    Oh dear!

    I hope you dound what you were looking for while wandering on the median!

  11. K8 says:

    No I didn’t I’m afraid, I gave up when I realised my life was probably worth a bit more than 75 euros.

  12. Holemaster says:

    I wonder if there was egg all over the road too. Why were you wandering the median, tax disc fly out the window?

  13. K8 says:

    This is true.

    Sorry you got trapped in my spam filter… had to spend a while scraping your comment off my bumper!!!

  14. K8 says:

    No it was an uber-expensive window guard that stops you getting soaked while using your windscreen washer and having a simultaneous smoke out the window.

    Stupid, but I really really hate it when my cigarettes get wet.

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