Posted on Thursday, February 26, 2009
in Family, Jobs, Strange and Unusual
It always gets me how these things happen in threes.
First was the phonecall last week from a very troubled teacher (with what sounded like a weeping assitant in the background) in Laughingboy’s school. Apparently the child lurched out of his hoist in an unexpected fashion and ended up head-first on the floor. This, I explained to the frought teacher, is not the first time he’s had a bump on the noggin, and it won’t be the last. It took me fifteen minutes to calm the man down, my overall reasoning being that a certain bit of pain is good for the body… it gives adrenalin glands a bit of excercise and toughens up the consitution somewhat. Laughingboy is proud of the poppy bruise on his forehead, I can tell. He thinks he’s well ‘ard now.
Then there was the comedic dog-walking accident. Yesterday morning, while trapsing to Puppychild’s playschool on a busy road, my large and cumbersome dog managed to wrap his lead around my ankles twice before I knew what was happening, and dashed behind me excitedly towards a small yappy dog, thus yanking my feet out from under me. It’s the sort of situation where you really do have to stand up immediately and laugh, despite the swimming spotty vision and the temptation to pass out with the pain of a cracked knee-cap. Today I have a swollen knee, a grazed elbow, a sore hip and a very stiff neck, and am searching on Ebay for an oversized hamster wheel for the dog in order to avoid such accidents in the future.
I dropped Puppychild into school this morning, and got a phonecall ten minutes later from a panicked teacher. She too, was inconsolable. ‘You need to come quick, I think she might need stitches… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’ she babbled. Upon arriving, I found my very pale child covered in blood with a half-inch gash in her forehead from an overenthusiastic tricycle accident. Her teacher was more upset than she was and again, I found myself spending more time consoling her than the child, explaining that it’s probably a good lesson for the kids to see what gravity and speeding is capable of. This still didn’t stop the flow of apologies… I think she expected me to go Medieval on her, from the way she acted. Accidents happen. Always in threes.
One of my favourite jobs as a mammy is the nursing… the mopping of blood and the fixing of butterfly sutures and the wiping of tears, I’m damned if I’m queueing up in Accident and Emergency if I can avoid it in any way possible… hospitals seem to be the most effective way to infect a wound anyway, especially in this country. Superglue and vodka – yer only man for the job.
We three are now watching CBeebies… me with my banjaxed kneecap, Laughingboy with his swollen noggin and Puppychild with her puffy closing eye and blood clotted hair. TAT will wander in any second now, take one look at us, shrug, and go back to bed. Wise choice.