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Jan 30

Ted support

Posted on Friday, January 30, 2009 in Family, Jobs, Little known facts, Strange and Unusual

This new theme I have going on… it doesn’t work.  That is to say there is a glitch on the other pages (Blogroll/About/A cry for…) in that the comments have vanished into thin air.  The comments are enabled, they’re still sitting in the database, they’re just invisible.  I can’t figure it out.

So… I downloaded another theme which is even prettier still.

This afternoon found me pulling my hair out, trying desperately to decipher PHP and CSS files in order to tidy the page up a bit and eventually I won.  I went back to the home-page to admire the view and found that the entire header had… vanished.

What the f…?!?!

Brain approaching overload, I just stared at the server for a while and watched the pretty letters milling around in their little nonsense convention.  That’s when Ted caught my eye.

ted

Now I would, until recently, have been slightly unnerved by grown men with teddy obsessions… take The ChrisD’s Baby Bear, for example.  But!!!  This is not regression or the display of a softer side, it is pure common sense.  Teddies are problem solvers, but it takes an open mind to understand this.  They’re inanimate, they’re stuffed with fluff, but their power is never to be underestimated.

Me – “Hey… Ted, I have a problem.”  Puppychild glanced at me and agreed, but for different reasons.

Ted – “…”

Me – “I can find the header image file in the server and I can find the scriptish file that tells the image what to do, but something else is cancelling it out and I can’t figure out what it is.”

Ted – “…”

Me – “Does WordPress have a CSS file?”

Ted – “…”

Me – “No you’re right, that’s stupid.  Sure why would they give a gobshite like me access to it?!”

Ted – “…”

Me – “There must be a setting somewhere on the Dashboard that’s screwing things up, but I didn’t touch anything there.  I don’t get it.”

Ted – “…”

Me – “But I don’t want to go through those files again… that language is a pain in the ass to understand.  Oh hang on…  I’ll try counting the files.”

Ted watched, his little cotton heart brimming with pride as I found that it was simply the fact that I’d forgotten to add a file when uploading things.  He winked at me with his missing eye and revelled in my trimph at having figured it out all by myself.

-o0o-

Meanwhile, Puppychild watched me dubiously and eyeballed Ted the traitor, Ted who belongs on her windowsill with all the other (slightly less technically minded) Teds.  She’ll thank him when she wants a blog someday, I know it.

Bring on the comments

  1. Baino says:

    Ha! He’s just a stuffed sounding board. The perfect man if you ask me, sits and listens without interrupting the flow. I for one think you’re very clever . . .I’m a technophobe at heart!

  2. Ah. Ted the cardboard engineer.

  3. Jo says:

    I too have had Ted Support but of a more traditional kind.

    Must get in touch with my inner IT Ted!

  4. susan says:

    Hurrah for Ted! And for you, for such a beautiful and oh-so-classy new look; I LOVE this!

  5. roy says:

    everyone’s changing……. why?
    Looks good mind

  6. Kelley says:

    I could have done with that damn bear a couple of weeks ago woman!

    Why did you keep him from me? You like to see me suffer?

  7. Oh thank god the wood paneling is gone

  8. Queenie says:

    I feel like I am at school now!!

    I have a Ted that helps with the techi stuff that I can’t do…he has blue eyes and beautiful red hair that he wants to dye brown!!

    I liked the other one….you bored or summat?

  9. K8 says:

    HEY!!!! I DIDN’T CHANGE THIS!!!

    WHAT’S HAPPENING?

  10. Jo says:

    I like this way better! The woodshed look was a bit ominous… like someone was about to get a whuppin….

  11. Holemaster says:

    Smart Ted you got there, oh look the type is all small when I type in the comments box.

  12. Kirk M says:

    Jeez! Here I stop by to admire the new look again and it’s gone with another in it’s place. Go easy on us older fellas K8. We can only take so much change within 7 to 10 days. ;) (Looks good though) Besides, it’s the person behind the writing that matters to me, not the look of things which is why I only have relatively few blogs that I visit on a regular basis.

    Now that I think about it, maybe I should get me a Ted. Maybe he could help me loosen up some of these service related disabilities of mine. Then, when “experts” at the VA stand pondering at the unexplained improvements, I can simply tell them that ‘Ted did it’.

    Then they’ll point me to the psych ward.

  13. TheChrisD says:

    I made Baby Bear read this after I noticed the link (after about 20 minutes though…).

    I think he wants me to ship him out to you pronto for “huggy-wuggies”.

  14. K8 says:

    Baino; I’m technophobish too a bit… the volume of stuff to be learned and understood is enormous, and a bit like trying to translate Chinese into Swahili. I’ve no idea what I’m doing.

    Thrifty; … of the most civil kind.

    Jo; Oprah Ted… I’m with you.

    Susan; Which one? I’m so confused. :p

    Roy; Because I’ve been stuck with the same theme for almost two years with no control over it and it was boring the back teeth off me… I had to nag my hosting dude into adding and removing badges and things, till he succumbed to giving me a server of my own. I’m flat-lining with the thrill of it all!

    Kelly; Ted says he thinks you’ve evolved beyond the help of a teddybear, and suggests that you might try a dartboard first and work down from there.

    Xbox4nappyrash; I’m surprised you of all people would have issues with wood? :-p

    Queenie; Feel free to doodle in the sidebar! I didn’t mean for this to change, I had it on standby while messing with the format, and SOMEONE plugged it in while I was sleeping. I blame Ted. If he had red hair he’d be dangerous.

    Jo; Dude I’m worried about your shed issues. You should have a word with Oprah Ted about that.

    Holemaster; I KNOW!! Jeez what is that? 2 pixels? I’m all squinted out. As soon as I’m finished here I’ll be trawling for font values all over the place, mark my tiny little words.

    KirkM; I didn’t mean to change it! There was a fault with the other one (which I’ve since fixed thanks to StalkerB on Chris Wallace the designers blog) so I downloaded this in case I couldn’t solve it, to have it in standby. Somebody took it off standby, and now if Chris visits after all his help fixing the wooden one, he’s going to get mighty pissed off. I spoke to Ted about it but he just said I told you so. I guess it’ll just stay the way it is now? Sorry for the shock.

    The ChrisD; Aww bless. Sometimes it’s hard to be understood in this world, especially if you’re stuffed. Solidarity Baby Bear!

  15. Jo says:

    Hoi! My shed issues are literature based only! Something Nasty in the Woodshed is Cold Comfort Farm, and childhood trips to the woodshed is any Southern upbringing story!

  16. K8 says:

    Xbox; Ted made me say it.

    Jo; Oh. Well in that case: Thanks for not putting me blog in the freezer.

  17. K8 says:

    Why can’t they put font settings under the form part of the scripting like any normal person? Ugh.

  18. Kirk M says:

    Ah, no sweat K8. Just keep on writing your fine posts. It’s all that really matters anyway. :D

  19. Jo says:

    Heh, blog in the freezer :)

  20. Good old Ted! I have a polar bear on my desk but he’s not very helpful. He’s very grumpy and usually refuses to help. Clearly I need more helpful bears!

  21. Oh. I kind of liked the woodshed. I can’t help thinking (being something ofa pink officionado) that all this is rather ungirly. First the woodshed, now the schoolyard. Even us tattoed girlies need a bit of girliness, y’know!!!

    PS: I use Bert in much the same manner ‘oh shit, Bert, what’s wrong with this bloody recipe?’

    Bert: *yawn*

    Me: Oh yes, of course – I forgot the flour.

    Hee.

  22. Doc says:

    like the spareness of the new place: keepin’ it?

  23. Clare says:

    Ooh, I like the new look. Love it in fact. Especially the fire.

    Am undergoing a bit of a re-design myself and it’s so FRSUTRATING. Nothing works the way I want it too. Grrrr. Eventually, I’ll figure it all out! :)

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