Posted on Monday, December 22, 2008
The doctor’s surgery was impressively festive this afternoon, I noted that it’s a shame that Poinsettias don’t own their own smell, there were so many of them dotted around as I manoeuvred Laughingboy into the waiting room.
“So how are we today?” the doctor smiled.
“Ahh not too bad…” I began unbuttoning the child’s many layers. “…I’m concerned about his oxygen saturation levels, since last night I’m guessing they’re hovering somewhere around the 82 mark. Would you have a pulse oxymeter gizmo lying around by any chance?” The doctor began to root, and emerged with a wee box attached to a clothes-peg which he clipped to Laughingboy’s index finger. The digital numbers began to count.
“81.9!” he exclaimed, sticking his lower lip out and making an impressed noise. “Any other symptoms?”
“Difficulty breathing, excessive mucous excretions from pretty much every orifice, restlessness and nausea. I administered a dose of 10ml purified water through his nebuliser last night which seemed to do the job. I reckon the kid has an upper chest infection going on, which seems to be creeping into the lower quadrants. I want to whack it on the head before pleural effusion takes hold. Maybe a dose of Augmentin Duo and a few vials of Combivent would do it?” The doctor mucked about with his stethoscope for a bit and stood back.
“Umm… yes that’s pretty much on the ball, let’s do that then.” He began typing. “Ever thought of entering the nursing career?”
“Yeah, I dunno… I’m just waiting for the right sign I s’pose. And money would help.”
“Here’s your sign right here,” he ruffled Laughingboy’s hair while Laughingboy frowned indignantly. “there’s your prescription, I’m sure you’re well accustomed to the doses and things? I might as well give you some signed prescription pads, sure!”
“Sweet, yeah I’m smashed broke at the moment, that’d be great!” A moment passed as he considered that fact that I might be serious, then he broke into a grin.
“So take care, now.”
“And a Merry Whatever!”
“And a Merry Whatever indeed.” the doctor grinned and went to lunch.
Meanwhile Laughingboy wondered when his ice cream treat was coming to him just as I considered the very same thing. Ice cream always comes first.