Your Queen has returned!!!
Ye gads what an adventure. It all began with the kind donation and smuggling of beard trimmings from Grandad and Rick O’Shea. The combined volume made enough rope to lower me to the ground from a fourth-storey window!!! Well, almost to the ground anyway. I found myself dangling six feet above ground, only to find Capt. Mick McFool was below, ready to catch me – my knight in shining lipstick! His clever ploy of dressing in drag let him seamlessly wander through the rancid streets of Maxiland, and to be honest, I think he enjoyed the liberation that fishnets bring (you should see his high-kicks!)… it brought out a crazy side in him that not all of us are lucky enough to see in our short lives… I felt privileged.
We legged it through the borders, ducking and detonating as we went until the madness ebbed away behind us through the smoke. We found a quiet country path…
… and McFool explained his mental adventures, describing the plan that was to come. He stopped suddenly and turned around. He paled.
“Wood doesn’t go ‘clink’ when you stand on it, does it?” I asked. McFool slowly shook his head and raised his eyebrows into a shrug. “I think I’m standing on a land-mine…”
“Jump!” He shouted in a gleeful fit of madness.
“Right!” He began to charge…
McFool ran straight past me, into the wilderness beyond, shouting about getting a ‘big rock or somethin”, when it happened.
My computer froze. I was stuck, immobile, unable to do anything but the three finger salute. My computer was euthanized and I was obliterated from the outskirts of Maxiland instantly, but to my surprise it was not the end for K8 the Gr8!!! I was re-born in a pile of cookies, a new creation, a new Queen of K8opia…
K8 the Ir8!!!
I am now the combined anger on the entire world wide web for cuntries like Maxi Cane’s. It is channeled through the links… the maledictions and nastiness shall ooze through his Pings and his Feeds and my vengeance shall be felt!!!
To my most graciously patient comrades;
It’s time to stop pussy-footin’ around here and unleash the power of your virtual honour!