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Oct 22

There may be trouble ahead

Posted on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 in Family

There I was, minding my own business on a playground bench, quietly reading a book while Puppychild played and spun and bounced.

I’m not in the habit of standing awqwardly while she does her thing, nor am I in the habit of following her around to ensure her safety.  She’s big and ugly enough now to experiment with the laws of gravity herself without me pointing them out.

So there I sat, and read and watched.

Then, out of the blue, my darling child shouted and pointed loudly from across the playground;

“Look!  Mommy’s sad!”

All heads turned.  Ok, so my hair wasn’t brushed and I was neurotically dressed against the cold, and I was reading a particularily intense book so was perhaps hunched over a little too much, perhaps I was giving off the impression that I may indeed have a sneaky gin bottle concealed in some inner pocket.  Other parents gazed at me sympathetically, so I waved to Puppychild with a tad too much cheer.  Damn, my desperate cover up did me no favours. 

It’s like that time at the supermarket checkout when she shouted; “Mommy take her tablets now?” 

Always so bloody out of the blue! 

I’m not a staircase gin guzzler, nor do I pop Prozac like there’s no tomorrow… I don’t take pills at all.  I don’t have a clue where she gets these notions, but get them she does, and she uses them to their utmost effect and always with perfect timing.  She has a flair for the drama, does that one.

I didn’t expect for her to learn how to take the piss so early, but I suppose it was inevitable, given her genes.

That’s just what the world needs!  Another smartarse.

Maybe mixing Guinness with her milk was a bad idea after all…

Bring on the comments

  1. well, she didn’t get it from nowhere…

  2. Maureen says:

    Just how much time DOES puppychild spend with grandad? ;)

    Who needs to embarrass themselves when they’ve got kids to do it for them

  3. Grannymar says:

    Well it beats ‘Mammy I wannnnt’!

  4. Grandad says:

    That’s my girl. :twisted:

  5. Jo says:


    The best one ever I got was when I wasn’t there.

    The husband was driving my daughter somewhere, and she said ‘Daddy, bump into the car in front like Mama!’

    Thank Fuck I told him about that extremely minor and inconsequential rearending incident.

    Children sell you down the river. Oh yes.

  6. Baino says:

    Ah the dobbing gene . . .been there alright . . “Show daddy your pretty new dress mum” (GAH hadn’t taken the price tag off yet!)

  7. TheChrisD says:

    If Guinness doesn’t work, try Budweiser. Worked on me when I was a kid :)

  8. K8 says:

    Xbox4nappyrash; No shit! She has us all sussed already.

    Maureen; A little TOO close maybe? I’ll have her doing her own blog soon enough.

    Grannymar; This is true! She tends to just nick things behind my back instead of asking these days anyway ;)

    Da; You’ve been training her to do that, haven’t you?

    Jo; Do they make muzzles for verbally eccentric children?

    Baino; I’ll have to figure out some sort of alliance with her I think. Blackmail’s an option.

    TheChrisD; She likes dipping her fingers in daddy’s whiskey which is bizzare, whiskey is rotten!

  9. Holemaster says:

    Kheee heee hee.

    I was minding my four year old nephew (who is now taller than me) and was walking back from the shops with him when I noticed a very fat man walking towards us. Fearing an audible comment from the little man about the big man, I crossed the road in the hope he would look at something else.

    Big mistake, as we passed on the opposite side of the road, the little fella pointed and shouted out “That man ate all the cakes”.

    I don’t know where he heard it, probably his other uncle.

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