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Oct 7

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

Posted on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 in Rantings

I lugged a large box of printer paper from the stationery section of the newsagent towards the busy tills and came to a halt.  I was pinned in on all sides by buggies, schoolchildren and old men with nowhere to go, so I waited as the queue for the tills diminished.

A pen rolled off the lottery stand and landed directly on the heavy box of paper at my feet.  I glanced at the lottery stand and thought it queer that the pen should suddenly do that for no reason.  Is it a sign?

Another sign struck me straight away… ‘Monday millions’… today is Monday, so that’s worth including.

As I bent down to pick up the fallen pen, an old man suddenly commented out of the blue;

“That’s a lotto paper you have there!”

Wow… for somebody who doesn’t believe in coincidence, this was enough for me.  I chose my numbers and two quick-picks, paid for them and stuck the ticket in my bra for safe keeping.  I do that with lighters too on those nights when I’m pocketless and without a handbag, it keeps the fuel warm.

When the bells chimed at eight o’clock I fished around my boobs for the ticket and feverishly checked the numbers on the internet and…

I’m still broke.  Sign schmign.

Bring on the comments

  1. Bessie with a gotee hee hee

  2. I dreamed I won the lottery once and still remembered the numbers when I woke up, so afterwards, convinced that it must have been some kind of premonition, I bought a ticket (the only time I ever have)… the problem was, all the numbers I’d dreamed were too high, so I ended up doing something complicated to do with division and ended up with totally different numbers. Not one of them was right.

  3. Granny says:

    I wish you Enough. Always.

  4. I so wish that picture was a topless lizzie with some dude’s head instead.

  5. Quickroute says:

    double or nothin’ ?

  6. Jo says:

    Ha, it’s never the day when you’re sure – it’ll be when you least expect it.

    I am bemused by the fact that I haven’t won the lotto yet. I know I know – one in 8 million chance etc – yet strangely people continue to win huge amounts of money monthly if not weekly.

    I figure you pay for a chance to hope and dream for a few hours, anything more than that is a bonus.

  7. Baino says:

    XBox? Topless 80 year old with . . *slaps head*

    I still buy the odd scratchie after the shopathon but never win more than 5 bucks, I reckon that heightens the odds, perhaps I should move on to Lotto.

  8. Conortje says:

    ah that amount of money would have ruined you. You’re better off as you are :-)

  9. All that money though… all those riches… the houses… the cars…the jewellery…

    But would you be happy? ;)

  10. K8 says:

    Roy; Isn’t she pretty?!

    Jenny; Weird!!! Throw the numbers into a GPS device for the craic! You might find buried treasure.

    Maxi; You’re gay.

    Mam; Ta muchly! Same to you.

    Xbox4Nappyrash; You are one twisted mofo. *shudder*

    Quickroute; Yep. I’m trying Paddy Power next week.

    Jo; Well put!!! I’m thinking it’s down to who you know. I don’t know a single sinner who’s won the lotto, out of all those people, isn’t that odd? I reckon that raises my chances of winning, that I’ll be the one person that people know as the jackpot winner of 08. No? Okay.

    Baino; I do it once in a blue moon when it feels ‘right’. That doesn’t work. My friend spends €50 on tickets every weekend and has won €200, so she’s worse off! I’m staying the hell away from it from now on.

    Conortje AND English Mum; I’d be more than happy, I could help take a serious dent out of the €6 million debt that Laughingboy’s school is swamped with. Sodding HSE.

  11. If she wasn’t already dead and buried I’d be one twisted queen-mo-fo…

  12. K8 says:

    Mannus horribilis!!!

  13. Granny says:

    The lottery people donate large sums to various charities. Usually this money goes for swimming pools and such. We should be campaigning for some of the bounty to go for special needs and put Laughing Boys school at the top of the list. So c’mon everybody. Maybe Rick O’ Shea might take an interest?

  14. K8 says:

    That would be unbelievably fantastic, but hauld yer horses… I’ve to find out from the school first if it’s okay to go public, there are… issues.

    I’m waiting for the next fundraising meeting to find out more facts, so I’ll be doing a proper post on it soon if they give me the go-ahead.

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