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Sep 29


Posted on Monday, September 29, 2008 in Philosophy, Rantings, Taxi driving

Rick O’Shea asked the question on the radio earlier – ‘What’s the bit of non-news that screwed up your day today?’ and I searched through the happenings of my day so far and was just a tiny bit dismayed to find that it was actually turning out to be a pretty good day.  I caught myself wishing that I had something interesting and funny to text in.

Be careful what you wish for.

I got home from my driving to find TAT had just woken up… he showed off his new phone straight away like a child on Christmas morning.  It’s a pretty nifty model, a Nokia NSeries N95 with an 8GB memory card, and a whopping 5 megapixels worth of camera stuff. 


It’s not as nice as mine what I won, but far superior to TAT’s.  He was delighted with himself, and told me his account of the night before with glee.  The conversation ran somewhat as follows;


TAT – So where are we going?

Drunkard – Uhhh… somewhere in Kilmac.  Anywhere there, I dunno… yeah.

TAT drives to Kilmacanogue and announces that the fare will be nine euros

Drunkard – Oh.  Wait.  No.  That’s not right.  There’s something wrong, uhhh…. wait.

Drunkard sits with a confused look on his face and shuffles slowly in his pockets for some invisible money.  After a while, he turns to get out of the car.

TAT – Oi!  Where are you off to?  Are you settling this bill or what?

Drunkard – Uhh… I’ve to go to the cash machine, I’ll be right back.

TAT – Well here you may as well leave your phone as collateral, sunshine – I didn’t come down in the last one y’know.

Drunkard hands his phone to TAT and stumbles away to the cash-machine where he spends an eternity.  He returns to the car eventually, sits in, and closes the door.  He stares into space again, saying nothing.

TAT – So… hate to be a bore, but how’s the cash situation looking?

Drunkard looks confused, then disappears back to the cash-machine for a further eternity.  TAT is on the edge of his rag, losing money by the second during busy hour, and is definitely not amused.  The drunkard finally re-appears, and mumbles over and over to himself as he sits back in.

Drunkard – No, it’s not right, not right… something’s wrong.

TAT growls softly

Drunkard – How about I give you twenty euros and we’ll call it quits?

TAT – Ok!!!

Drunkard – Or we could leave it at nine euros and you could bring me home?

TAT – No mate, the meter goes back on for that, but twenty euros will cover it nicely, no worries!

Drunkard – Ahh for ff… Ok fine, I’ll get out here so.


TAT – *amused* Ok so, here’s your phone.

Drunkard – NO I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANT IT!!!!

Drunkard gets out and walks away, waving and shouting thanks to TAT, minus his swish phone.


Upon hearing this story, I instantly felt pity for the dude.  I’ve been in rag order before, and have stupidly had to rely on the kindness of strangers to guide me to safety, and it’s not a good situation to find yourself in – especially if you’ve lost a nice new phone.  I’d be gutted.  Ok, so it’s his own fault for getting himself into that situation, but there could be any number of reasons as to why he was discombobulated like that.

ME – You have to give it back.

TAT – What?!?!  Are you crazy?  He was a muppet – a muppet with a nice phone!  It’s mine now!

ME – But it’s the right thing to do!!  He might be lost without it… besides, doing the right thing comes back to you.

TAT – Me bollocks!

I searched through the contacts on the phone and found an entry that said ‘Mam’.  I called it.  The cow was in Spain, so I paid through the nose to inform her that her son’s phone was in our possession, and could she pass on my number?  She seemed confused.  It must be a confusing family they have there.

About ten minutes later, I got a call from the drunkard, now severely sober and extremely embarrassed.  I relayed the story to him and he cringed and apologised, again and again.  I know that feeling.  He was a pretty nice guy, maybe about thirty or so… we had a laugh for about fifteen minutes and I agreed to leave the phone in my cab-company’s base, which he was extremely grateful for.

“It’s ok, though,” he laughed – “the phone was insured so I have another one now.”

I paled.

Shite!!!  No, seriously, SHITE!!!!  Now I have to give the phone back… a seriously nice and un-wanted phone!!!  Where’s the justice in that?

I poured TAT a strong whiskey and broke the news to him.

He hates me now.

It’s not my fault though!  I have morals!  I’m the sort of stupid cow that finds two hundred quid on a pavement and hands it in, the sort who gives away beautiful pieces of mobile phone kit, just because it’s right.  I’ve called Karma, but its phone is ringing out and now I just feel really, really stupid.

And then do you know what happened?

My cat chased a mouse into a coal-bag so I reached in to grab its blackened little scared body and save it’s tiny life, but the little fucker bit me.  Hard.  It dug it’s teeth into the quick of my thumbnail all the way to the back field so now I have a very sore thumb.  And possibly rabies.  Tetanus at least.

What’s happening?  Who is testing me, and why?


Bring on the comments

  1. Brianf says:

    Good for you!!!
    I have that same bad habit of returning lost whatnots to their owners.
    It’ll come back home to you.
    Just wait. You’ll see.

  2. K8 says:

    I don’t mind… it’s TAT that needs convincing. I am most sincerely in the dog-house for this one!

  3. Oh dear! I sympathise though; I think I’d have done the same thing. If I’d been that guy though, having already got a new phone off my insurance, I’d have let you guys keep the lost one.

    That poor bloke must have been so embarrassed!

  4. K8 says:

    Apparently he was delighted just to get his numbers back for work, so some good kind of came out of the situation, but you’re right, he could give it back. He has my number now, perhaps he’ll spot me a few bob. Who knows?
    He was very embarrassed… I made sure of it, I love reminding people of their drunken escapades, it’s payback for the old days when my friends did it to me!

  5. Baino says:

    Nah,you did the right thing . . .Taxi Driver’s code and all that. Do ylu have a ‘code’? We’ve had two mobile phones stolen and within seconds the sim card nicked so they were untraceable. It’s a pain because all your contacts are hidden away in there. Tell Tat to spring for an iPhone, they’re better anyway and he can play with the light sabre and have a virtual beer!

  6. Maxi Cane says:

    Doing the right thing has never come back to me, although that’s probably because I’d have stripped that phone for parts and sole it to the Chinese on Moore street.

    Karma can kiss my fat ass.

  7. No, K8, you have to believe it will come back and kiss you on the arse eventually!

  8. Darragh says:

    No good deed goes unpunished K8. Still, better than getting a call from someone thinking you’re him, or something, eh?

  9. Quickroute says:

    You did good – Karma n’ all that jazz

  10. Tuli says:

    I would’ve given it back, too.

    But drunk dude should’ve said, “Insurance gave me a new one, keep that one.” Because seriously, it’s the least he could’ve done since he GAVE it to TAT in the first place. Drunk or not. The turd.

  11. Caro says:

    I agree. Drunk guy should have let you keep the phone, karma is going to bite his arse big-time for this.

  12. Deborah says:

    Aw K8… suckage. You’d think he would have told you not to worry about the phone. *sigh*

    Mousebite eh? Ick!

  13. I think karma’s a load of old balls. But I do think you did the right thing. The more people do the right thing, the better we feel about ourselves and the better we feel about each other. All be the change you want to see in the world ish.

    Are you sure TAT didn’t set that mouse on you?

  14. K8 says:

    Baino; No code, I’m afraid it’s every woman for himself in this game these days. I’ve made TAT a virtual iPhone out of a loo-roll and an empty washing-up liquid bottle. He seems happy.

    Maxi; Harsh, but most possibly true.

    Gray; What would Earl Hickey do?

    Darragh; I don’t mind calls like that. It gives me a chance to spread confusion and pandemonium which breaks up the day.

    Quickroute; Gadgets are just fool’s gold I suppose.

    Tuli; He didn’t sound like too much of a turd the next morning though, but he did sound rich. I’m waiting for the cheque ;)

    Caro; I dunno. It’ll all level out somehow, I can feel it in my waters.

    Deborah; If I had offered to email him his contacts, he probably would’ve let me keep it. D’oh! Oh well.
    Ah you should’ve seen the mouse though, poor wee critter was scared out of his tree! I probably would have bit me, too.

    Problemchildbride; TAT knows that my kryptonite is spiders and pylons/high tension towers. Considering he’s afraid of spiders himself, and pylons are incredibly hard to throw at people, I’m guessing he had nothing to do with it.

  15. Caro says:

    Wait a minute though – he still hasn’t paid his taxi fare has he? Plus the cost of sending him his phone?

  16. K8 says:

    He quibbled over the price on the night, then handed over 20 quid with an 11 euro tip – completely unintentionally. His head was up his arse, poor bloke.

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