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Jul 21

Ooo-er, Bryan!

Posted on Monday, July 21, 2008 in Music, Strange and Unusual, Taxi driving

I get these Phoebe moments from time to time… like discovering that the expression isn’t ‘for all intensive purposes’ but actually ‘for all intents and purposes’.  It’s vital that if you want to show off your big lexicon you at least spell it right, so that was a swing and a miss for me for many years.

The latest boo-boo I discovered relates to Bryan Adams.

You know that song ‘Summer of ’69’?  Of course you do.  I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this song but I have only just discovered that I was drastically wrong about the lyrics.

I always thought it was a very kinky song with pretty shocking lyrics… I wondered how he got away with it, but hey, there’s plenty of stuff out there that’s worse.  It was only when I picked up a kid and his dad in my taxi yesterday that I realised my mistake.  Turns out this kid loves Bryan Adams, and sang me the first few lines of the song which was highly inappropriate I thought, given that he was singing it in front of his dad… that was, until his dad applauded the effort.  I was disgusted.

Here’s how I thought the lyrics went:

“Got my first real sex-dream, boy I had a fine old time.  Played until my fingers bled… etc.”

Apparently I was wrong.  Very, very wrong.

Bring on the comments

  1. This made me laugh!

    We had our end of term trip today to legoland, and I almost pulled one of the kids in my group up on being inappropriate – I thought I’d heard him say ‘it was a crap dildo’! What he actually said was, ‘it was a crap deal though’, in reference to a snack he’d bought. Really, I should probably have pulled him up on the ‘crap’, but I was so relieved he wasn’t talking about dildos, he got away with that one!

  2. Darren says:

    Ha – very funny. I like it.

    Check out this site. You’ll love it.

  3. SNAP!

    Until very recently I was in ‘intensive purposes’ land too.

    I’m curious, are you seriously trying to tell us that you thought Bryan Adams was singing about self loving until his appendages actually started to bleed?

    Two in a row!

  4. Ah, that reminds me of another song that has an alternate meaning. I used to have a girlfriend that loved that song, “Crash into Me”, by Dave Mathews band. “Oh, it’s such a romantic song”, she’d say! She was shocked when I told her that it was about a stalker stalking his x girlfriend. I played it over and over after that to annoy her. She hated it. :)

  5. Hails says:

    Oh K8. That fits so well with my misunderstanding of the same song, would you believe. I didn’t know the name of it, but I often heard it and sang along. And so it was that on many a Friday night I’d be found happily dancing away and singing that classic line from the chorus: “back in the sun we’ll have sex tonight”…

  6. baddiesgirl says:

    “I got my first real six-string
    Bought it at the five-and-dime”

    And the song has nothing to do with the year — it’s all about making love and a certain sexual position as per Bryan himself!

    Trust me – in 2008, Bryan has been very naughty………

  7. K8 says:

    Jenny; My dad could tell you a story about how his mother wanted to know why her son was saying ‘crap’ a lot and what it meant. He told her it was related to the game ‘craps’, so if one was to say something was crap, it means it’s great fun. Apparently he had her saying it to all her straight-laced coffee friends :)

    Darren; Bonus! I’m not alone – yes indeedy I do love it!!!

    Xbox4nappyrash; Yep, I really am that stupid. Mind you, the title of the song sort of suggested that I was on the right road. I think ‘intensive purposes’ should be the right version, it makes more sense!

    Jefferson; I’m with your ladyfriend on this one… I thought Sting’s ‘Every breath you take’ was frightfully sweet for the longest time. Then I went out with somebody who was a bit weird and suddenly it all made sense.

    Hails; I’m not alone in my dirty-mindedness?! How excellent :) I think I’ll carry on singing it the wrong way including your chorus. It’s way more entertaining that way.

    Baddiesgirl; He has?!?! Google him I will…

  8. Excellent. I was in Italy once and a bloke was playing covers in the bar, he seemed convinced that the line from “With or Without You” was “On a bed of snails she makes me wait” and similar hilarious errors.

    A mate of mine continuously says pacifically instead of specifically.

    BTW Sam Sparro’s latest song has reinforced my original thought.

  9. Baino says:

    Well done. Love these especially the bed of snails! As Robert Palmer sang, “Might as well face it you’re a dick with a glove!”

  10. manuel says:

    you think that’s bad…….i used to sing,

    “dance dance wherever you may be, I am the lord of the dark settee…”

    eek

  11. Maxi Cane says:

    The Beatles classic: “Hey Dude”
    or
    Eurhythmics: “Sweet dreams are made of cheese”

    When I was a kid I thought there was 9 days in the week – Monday – Sunday followed by yesterday and tomorrow.
    Nobody ever corrected me because they thought it was cute. I still miss meetings to this day because of it!!!

  12. Darren says:

    @Manuel You thought that song was about evil couches? lmao :D

  13. Oh God, my sides were splitting by the time I got to Baino’s and then Manuel slew me. Great post, great thread – I am limp with laughter.

  14. BTW, missus, i memed a little meme for you, do-be-do-be-do.

  15. Quickroute says:

    I thought the Clash were singing “lock the cashbox – lock the cashbox”

  16. Ha ha – I love it.

    When singing “Message In a Bottle” Mammy Ambassador used to sing ‘A year has passed since I broke my nose‘ (as opposed to ‘since I wrote my note‘)

    The CPF thought Bruce Springsteen was singing ‘Is that you baby, or just a bridge in disguise‘ (as opposed to ‘a brilliant disguise‘)

    While I learned it was ‘Forget romance, lets dance‘ and not ‘the caroline sex dance

  17. Caro says:

    I always thought it was “Money for nothing and the chips for free”.

    Couldn’t understand why he was getting so excited about getting free chips. Though I do like chips meself…

  18. warrior says:

    Ah yes the good old 5 string flute ( ahem ) …………….. any way I always used to go to mass on a holy day of Bob Logation. I never figured out who he was though. Any one any ideas who this Bob fellow is?

  19. Up to three minutes age I thought it was sex dream as well

  20. Carole says:

    Ah, you got me thinking about the term used for this sort of thing…misinterpreted or misheard lyrics. I searched and searched until I found it: mondegreens.

  21. Oooh oooh, I’ve got another one: When I was around 8 I used o think the hairstyle afro was shortened and that the full name for it was aphrodisiac (blissfully unaware of what an aphrodisiac really was).

  22. Lottie says:

    I thought Elton Johns Tiny Dancer was about Tony Danza.

  23. @lottie: Phoebe made the same error in Friends. Are you Phoebe?

  24. Lottie says:

    Yes – but Im more the work crazed Pheobe who has a heart attack from on of the “what if” episodes.

  25. Granny says:

    I need a darkish sofa! Can I buy it on this site k8. I am very confused!

  26. K8 says:

    Thriftcriminal; Pascettie and hostable! Memories of childhood…
    I thought condom was short for condominium!
    Ain’t heard the Sam Sparrow song yet I don’t fink but will be all ears when I do…

    Baino; Weird Al Yankovic has plenty of inspiration here, dus’ne?!

    Manuel; Thanks for nailing that song to the inside of my brain. It won’t go away. Make it stop.

    Maxi Cane; Original excuse or what?! I’m robbing that.

    Sam; Good on yeh for passing it on!!!

    Quickroute; I thought it was ‘mock the half-spa’ :)

    Bad Ambassador; I know… yer wan behind the bar told me the whole story ;) Gotta love public humiliation.

    Caro; I love that song – I thought I had the lyrics all wrong (microwave oven?!) until I listened to it properly – I too thought there were free chips in there!

    Warrior; He was maintainer of Church roofs in the olden days.

    Roy; SO happy to read that!!!

    Carole; They really do have a word for everything! I shall use it ten times tomorrow to show off :)

    Lottie; They really should write a song about Tony Danza… I liked the way he kept crashing taxis and never got into trouble.

    Ma; Yes you can. All you have to do is smear washing-up liquid all over the CD that says ‘Backup data’ and insert it into Grandad’s laptop. The rest will take care of itself.

  27. stwidgie says:

    Thanks for sharing, K8. That’s a beautifully sustained example! (fnarr, fnarr!)

    I had a lot of these as a teenager, starting with Elton John (the b*** is back (3x), all hunched over in a Cadillac) and Neil Sedaka who apparently worked in a med lab (“the only good thing about bad blood is making a slide”). My favorite though is that song by Deep Purple about “Slow Hand Walter”.

  28. K8 says:

    Stwidgie; Welcomes!!! Excellent mondegreenage… I’m going to try some of this stuff out to see if anyone notices.

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