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Jun 27

So long, hackney cab

Posted on Friday, June 27, 2008 in Hackney Cabbing, Jobs, new

So we’ve fixed the Passat and installed radios and fare meters and a brand spanking new roof-sign.

No more gazing longingly at bus-lanes in heavy traffic, no more interviewing people outside Tescos who don’t know I’m a taxi driver, no more boring waits in between jobs from the dispatch office!

Yes, groan all you like all you taxi haters and frustrated taxi-drivers, but there’s yet another taxi on the roads.  Our taxi, the relaxi-cab.  I’m gonna be the best damn Grace Jones ever.

All I have to do now is figure out how to use this fare-meter.  The installer didn’t teach us diddly-squat, all the buttons are marked with very obscure words indeed, and as for the manual?  Pft…  I wouldn’t even wipe my dip-stick with it.

First day tomorrow!  Am I scared? 

Yes.

Bring on the comments

  1. Doc says:

    girl, you know i love you to death (others’, of course – not yours), but the terms ‘relaxi-cab’ and ‘Grace Jones’ are sooooooo far from synonymous that i worry for your mental health.

    …’course, given your parentage, perhaps i ought to have expected it.

    ; ‘ )

  2. John B says:

    You and your dad make a right pair today :) Ask him to print out the manual for you.

  3. Relaxi-cab is awesome!

    You have a dip stick?

  4. Grannymar says:

    Go get them Girl!

    You are a winner.

  5. ‘You talkin’ to me?’

  6. Grandad says:

    How very very dare you dok. My little Kitty is a golden wonder, you are taking on Granny now cause he fell asleep an I stole his computer. Good luck k8. Mammy.

  7. Grandad says:

    Grandad is now awake and back in control.

    Why is yer Ma calling you a popato, K8? Something I don’t know about?

  8. K8 says:

    Doc; I robbed the term ‘relaxi-cab’ from Friends and ‘Grace Jones’ from Twenty’s buke. How’s that for synonymous?? Hey aren’t you Grandad’s dad? I only have you to blame so.

    John B; Might get my satnav to explain it for me…

    Going Like Sixty; You know the oil-level icky dippy stick? What do you call them in the US? Yeah. One of those.

    Grannymar; I’m so far from winnerdom it’s not even funny.

    Xbox4NappyRash;
    All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bray, Greystones, I take ‘em to Ballymun. I don’t care. Don’t make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won’t even take spooks. Don’t make no difference to me.
    You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.

    Thanks ma :)

    Squidward; What’s a popato? Something I don’t know about either… :)

  9. A popato is an 80-year-old daddy.

  10. Popixto says:

    Nice one, Sam ;)

  11. Brianf says:

    Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.

    Now I see this clearly. My whole life is pointed in one direction. There never has been a choice for me.

    Twelve hours of work and I still can’t sleep. Damn. Days go on and on. They don’t end.

    Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m God’s lonely man.

    What a great flick!

  12. Maxi Cane says:

    Don’t worry about not knowing how to use the meter, no other taxi driver does!

    All you need now is a lot of knowledge on nothing and a chronic case of gas and you’ll fit right in!

  13. Quickroute says:

    “All you need now is a lot of knowledge on nothing and a chronic case of gas and you’ll fit right in!”

    …..and make sure you don’t shower for weeks at a time but do bathe in extra cheap aftershave!

  14. Baino says:

    “First Day tomorrow . . am I scared?” Nah, you’ll be fine

    Since the lazy commenters are just nickin’ quotes from movies, I’ll pinch from Catherine Tate:

    . . just say to yourself “am a bovvered . . do ah luk bovvered? Luk ah mah fays . . am a bovvered . . no, ahm not bovvered!”

  15. K8 says:

    Popixto? Is a 120 year old a popixtogenarian?

    Brian; So why is it only on TV at 3.30am? 4 hours sleep and a cranky toddler do not a good mix make.

    MaxiCane; I have the meter sussed, don’t you worry ’bout that. Right now I’m learning something about everything and everything about something :)

    Quickroute; My punters get the second hand smoke of my Golden Virginias. It’s ok when you get used to it.

    Baino; The Tate hit down under?!?! Savage! I’m raging that I moved out of TV land when she came on the scene. Seen ‘Little Britain?’ That was me at the start of my shift today…. ‘Uhhm, c’mputer says no…’

  16. […] just lost his ride.  So I guess she feels like she needs the money. Word has it he may launch Relaxi-cab in the […]

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