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Jun 2

Stuff that floats my boat

My tit:


This boob ashtray was given to TAT by his sister many years ago.  There is no argument or conversation serious enough not to be grounded by the words “Pass me your tit there…”

My bush:

I’ve had this miniature rose bush since I was 17.  It grew to over 50cm tall and was starting to behave oddly, so I pruned it to half it’s size.  It’s been flowering like crazy ever since, but last Spring it got attacked un-mercifully by a little gross army of greenfly.  They say you shouldn’t spray a plant with bug-killer while it’s flowering, but I sprayed it anyway because the little beasties were everywhere and as a result, the plant almost met it’s maker.  I give it warm showers every other day to wash the straggler beasties away and then keep it in the sunniest spot there is.  This TLC seems to have worked – there are a few tiny fresh green leaves now.

Here’s the thing; Even in it’s darkest hours, it persisted with that flower.  The bud was being eaten alive but it carried on, and flowered the prettiest darn flower it’s ever made against all odds.

That is some inspirational shit right there.  Was that God’s work or mine?


Bring on the comments

  1. 5h4mr0(k says:

    It was your work!

    BTW – the hits are going to mount up on this one! Mentioning ‘tit’ and ‘bush’ AND with photos of them! (I figured I might as well contribute by throwing ‘mount’ in there as well – I could have used ‘rack’ but I thought that might be a bit juvenile.)

  2. Baino says:

    Haha . . shame you’ve only got one tit but the bush is great! Apparently it’s REALLY hard to grow roses indoors so you’ve done well. They need multi directional sunlight, lots of water, good drainage, cool temp, loose soil and pest spraying! (handy living with a horticulturist) . . .

  3. Brianf says:

    Alright so yous’ got a plant with bugs and sprayed the living shit out out of it.
    I’ve done the same.
    Time to move on.
    Try some rapeseed cakes.
    I use them on everything.
    Give them time to recover.
    Rapeseed cakes are the shizzle la a plantel….

  4. Grannymar says:

    Thats a great tit :roll:

    Looks like you have green fingers! Plants do not like my house. No matter how I tried they all died.

  5. Nick says:

    Really, you gals are getting far too rude. Hullaballoo just posted a picture of breast-shaped nesting boxes. Still, I had a good titter. Until I realised I was making a right tit of myself.

    As for bushes – I thought everyone was getting rid of their bushes and getting nice smooth Hollywood patios instead.

  6. I believe it is possible to buy ladybirds (maybe grubs?) that will feast mightilly on the greenfly. Or engage your toddler in a hunt for one and install it for a feast :-) Certainly if our Basil gets the same going over it did last year I’ll be out with #1 and a jar to find some.

  7. greenfly in your bush…

    there’s contraception at it’s very best.

  8. 5h4mr0(k says:

    A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.

    He gave her one.

  9. warrior says:

    I will then. Your hits will rack up finely because of your infested bush. ( say that when you are pissed). Check it out but I think they don’t like vinegar. Ants love green fly by the way but you wouldn’t want them in your house. they milk them…… funny that you have a tit on your table and an ant is milking in your bush… hmmmmmmmmm.
    Goes to show smoking is not good for the breast. What is your other one like? Is that the left one? I feel like a right one now.

  10. Damn, I saw the bold titles and thought I had something to draw! ;)

    That rose bush is a fighter! And, the ash tray is just cool! :)

  11. Natalie says:

    ladybirds LOVE eating aphids…wow, you can actually BUY them…in SA they come for free ;)

  12. K8 says:

    5h4mr0(k; A tit in the hand is worth two in the bush!

    Baino; It’s also quite partial to a bit of Vivaldi.

    BrianF; I’s never heard of dis Rapeseed shizzle, cheers ears, will keep an I out for it.

    Grannymar; I learned some neat tricks from my Granny… she was great for the big Latin words. My rosebush= Nasticus Infectia maybe…

    Nick; Like a Brazilian or a Bald Eagle?

    Thriftcriminal; Excellent idea that! I love time-wasting activities, me. Especially with three-year-olds :)

    Xbox4nappyrash; AAAAARRRRRGH the image! It won’t go away…

    5h4mr0(k; Haa! Joke well received by present company :))

    Warrior; So do the ants milk the greenfly or each other?! I had no idea ants had nipples. Have you been smoking?!?!

    Jefferson; Aye, you’ve a great eye for the female form ;) More power to you!

    Natalie; They come for free here too, but it involves a lot of pooching around in hedging. Not that that’s a bad thing, but one can get a reputation….

  13. Well I think it’s fair to say, that’s one seed you planted yourself…


  14. Well! now that I’ve seen your tit and your bush I can die happy

  15. Never thought I’d say this to a fellow girly, but I think your bush has the potential to be very nice and will survive with a little TLC. Hee hee x

  16. Every bush benefits from a warm shower.

    How is grannymar making her eyes do that thing up there? Coo-wil

  17. Quickroute says:

    A tit in the hand is only worth half a bush!

  18. Deborah says:

    Heehee that’s awesome K8! :) I can’t believe you’ve had the rose for so long, that’s amazing!

  19. K8 says:

    Xbox4nappyrash; The image is still there. I think I need a colonic.

    Roy; I live to serve :)

    English Mum; Bush is still crawling but it’s looking perkier these days! (So I’m told)

    Problemchildbride; Indeed! I think it’s :roll: or :rolleyes: or something like that… I think Grannymar is a closet smiley genius.

    Quickroute; Not if you have a Black Bush in the other hand. (Whiskey, my dear. Whiskey.)

    Deborah; It is my pet, the longest living plant I’ve ever owned. The longest living anything I’ve ever owned in fact. Apart from my teeth, and those aren’t looking too promising either.

  20. Operalover says:

    Just wanted to say, i came across this blog today and have read enjoyed and have emailed all my friends with your URL!!!! Thank you for being brave, politically incorrect and downright hilarious! There is nowhere in this world of ours where people can speak their minds without recrimination. I may not agree with all your opinions but i love the fact that you voice them!!! Go for it girl! Im an addict grom now on!!!!!

  21. K8 says:

    Wow, thanks Operalover :) My Monday morning just picked up thanks to you!

  22. Many smiles from this!

    That ashtray is quite possibly the best thing i’ve ever seen!

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