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May 27

Christmas in May

Posted on Tuesday, May 27, 2008 in Hackney Cabbing, Strange and Unusual

The Christmas party last night was a blast!

Johnny Fox’s was the venue of choice (they painted over the graffiti on the toilet doors – what a crime!!), but it’s cheesy same-ishness was replaced by the warm welcome we recieved from the other taxi-company drivers when we first walked through the door.  The boss’ wife was the only woman there, she was joined by 12 burly men who parted instantly to make room for us at the table which was an enormous coroner’s cart (bring out yer dead!) with a glass sheet for it’s surface.  I parked myself by a cartwheel in a chair proffered to me by 14. 

(I did find out their names, but everybody found it easier to still refer to each other by their car number.  Other drinkers in the pub looked pretty confused to overhear ‘OI! 9, it’s your round, pull the finger out!’)

I played my cards carefully.  I remarked on the fact that they were such a good-looking bunch, they should release a calendar and this, needless to say, went down pretty well, especially with 12.  Neither I or the accidental terrorist had to put our hands in our pockets once for the price of a pint, for every half-hour a fresh batch of a dozen pints of Guinness appeared on the table which we all tucked into with glee.  At one stage a tray full of shots of Baby Guinness’ (Tia Maria/Kahlua and Baileys) vapourised in front of us, two of which were offered to me!

The night grew older, and I watched the crowd bloom with inebriation while happily celebrating the fact that I was holding my sauce pretty darn well by comparison.  5 x Guinness, 2 x Baby Guinness, 4 x Pints of water and 1 x Vodka & Lime later found me chatting with 22 (a man who looks remarkably like Penfold) who offered me the position of women’s representative at their monthly board/pub meetings so I remember being particularily bowled over by that.

The other conversations are somewhat hazy, though I do remember fawning over an Estonian bloke’s dreadlocks at one point.

A taxi arrived for us at midnight, driven by a quiet but extremely ballsy young lady who decided to take on the Devil’s Elbow in a people-carrier.  This was extremely fortunate for me and TAT being that our B&B was in Glencullen, but when the taxi stopped outside, the rest of the lads pleaded for us to stay and go with them to the night-club in Bray, so we hopped back in. 

Reality struck soon afterwards as we realised we were about to fork out extra money for a nightclub we really didn’t want to go to and a taxi fare return, so we stopped the taxi again at Enniskerry village and walked all the way back up the hill to Glencullen which is quite a pleasant experience when you’re pissed.

I remembered to my dismay that I can’t hold my sauce so well after all this morning.  The 11am fear kicked in like clockwork and I’ve been fighting demons ever since, but it was worth it. 

I frikkin’ love Dreadlocks.  I’ve got a hankering for a dramatic style change and I reckon it’s time to finally follow Bob Marley’s advice and go ahead and grow ’em.  Yep, I know dreads on a white person are somewhat hypocritical, but I don’t connect it to Rastafarianism really.  I connect it more to ethnic pride for the Celtic tradition, though maybe not to these muppets:

Bring on the comments

  1. warrior says:

    1 where did you get the photo
    2 wow I haven’t had a skin full like that in such a long time
    3 you can hold your sauce, you can hold mine too if you like.
    4 wow
    5 where did you get the photo I wanna join the muppets

  2. I like the idea of a Christmas party in May. Was it actually a Christmas party (as in, with tinsel and trees) or was it just Christmassy in spirit? And either way, did it feel like Christmas?

  3. K8 says:

    Warrior; I can only hold my sauce on the night itself. Next morning at 11am I usually get to see it again though which is anything but glamorous.

    I found the picture on a National Geographic page. Isn’t it savage?!

    Jenny; Apparently Santa hats were brought but they never appeared! The weather played its part by blasting us with freezing winds and rain so it did feel quite Christmassy in many ways, especially what with all the booze consumed.

  4. Baby Guinness! My God, it’s a thing of beauty. Nom nom!

    I just read that angry white kid post you linked to. What an odd fellow he is. Besides the idiot thing.

    The party sounds like a blast. Glad you enjoyed it. I love the way you all call each other numbers.

  5. Baino says:

    Baby Guinness . . YUM . . I think they’re called an Orgasm out here! Sorry you’re feeling a little under the weather but I’m not surprised with that lot! Glad your not pootling me about in your taxi this morning! We have a thing called Christmas in July because it’s cold enough to appreciate a roast dinner rather than sweating over the Turkey in 90 degree heat! Love it. Amazing how far you can walk home when under the influence . . it flattens the hills and makes the pavement move! As for dreads . . go you good thing! I love em!

  6. Confused, is Fox’s not in Glencullen? Walking from Enniskerry is pretty good going at that time of night! Where is the devil’s elbow?

    Sounds like a good night, chrimbo parties in May eh, I’d say that could catch on in a more thrift concious Ireland. Those ladies look a little, errrr, underdressed?

  7. Nick says:

    I heard that 13 was creating havoc with 8 and 24 came to blows with 5 over his attitude to 17. But I’m sure it’s all malicious gossip.

  8. Medbh says:

    K8, were those the 11am demons you were fighting off in the pic?

  9. warrior says:

    Hey if you are not going to shave your pubes, you could put dreads in them… could start a whole new craze

  10. Did you hear about what numbers 6 and 9 got upto when they hooked up at the end of the evening….

  11. K8 says:

    Sam, Problemchildbride; Yep those Baby Guinnesses go down far too easy! (That’s what she said)

    Baino; Pootling is one of my favourite words :) People seem to have strong opinions about dreads… they’re associated with neglect and filth because you can’t wash them, yet in fact they take a lot of maintenance from what I’ve read. If they don’t suit me the only way to undo them is to shave the whole lot off which is a scary thought.

    Thriftcriminal; Yep JFs is in Glencullen… the Devil’s Elbow is that nasty set of scary bends at a 45 degree angle on the road from JF’s to Enniskerry… it’s one of those strictly 1st gear jobbies that’s impossible if you’re in a big vehicle. Glencullen stretches further on down that road if I’m not mistaken. These ladies look nipply don’t they? Good thing they brought the fire. Very sensible.

    Nick; Indeed ’tis true… 7 gave hell 2 5 4 being such a stirrer.

    Medbh; The very same! The fires played havoc in my belly when the sausages and eggs were being cooked. Ugh.

    Warrior; Good thinking batman. Could get very creative with some beads…

    Xbox4NappyRash; Turns out 7 8 9 behind 6’s back ;)

  12. Granny says:

    Carmel drove me down that road after a liquid lunch. I gave up imbibing and carmel that day. my epiphany!

  13. I wonder how many blueberry lollies she had to lick to get her tongue to go that colour. Cause they totally had blueberry lollies back in the hairy loincloth days.

  14. Ah, yes, I’ve done them on a bike.

  15. Grandad says:

    Thrifty – “Ah, yes, I’ve done them on a bike.

    But have you done them on a motorbike in mid-winter when the road is a sheet of ice?

    I have :twisted:

  16. It’s a great name for a bend in the road, the devils elbow, so descriptive and apt for that bend which is on a hill as well as acute.
    The 27 bends… which is the road from Enniskerry to the dual carriageway is another apt moniker

  17. @Grandad. No, I am a wuss and afeared of the motybikes (or more accurately the daft things I might do on one)

  18. Natalie says:

    best way to avoid a hangover…wake up still feeling like u did the night before, then go and play a game or 3 of hockey bloody hell, but makes it all right for the party that will start at 8!!! I am still recovering…

  19. Mary Witzl says:

    Sigh — my days of enthusing over Estonian dreadlocks seem to be over. And I can’t hold my liquor worth beans. The plus-side of this is that my alcohol budget can be figured in pennies. One sniff of tequila has me dancing on the tables.

  20. K8 says:

    Roy; That’s gas…27! I know it as the 20 bends and me da refers to it as the 12 bends. I’ve never actually counted them though…

    Thriftcriminal; So you were a moped kind of guy? Moped guys are way cooler than motorbike guys :)

    Natalie; Hockey? No way could I survive hockey through The Fear.

    Mary; We shall just have to get you out in a naked frenzy of dance and poetry with the sisterhood then, won’t we? (I wish I was in a sisterhood like that. It looks so wolf-ish.)

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