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Mar 6

Bye bye birdie

Posted on Thursday, March 6, 2008 in Humourarse, Quickie, Strange and Unusual

I had two budgies until recently.  The blue one was a male called Waldorf, and the yellow one a girl; Sunny.  Sunny flew away when I accidentally left the window open two days ago.  I wandered around the road a bit to feel like I was doing something constructive, knowing all along that she is most likely fucked.

Waldorf was very quiet yesterday.  Today though, I see that he’s bought in a 6 pack and now appears to have a tiny hash plant and an ugly leather chair in his cage.  That didn’t take long. 

I’m writing this post just in case Sunny has found her way into a house somewhere and has found an internet connection.  If she finds this post maybe she’ll be more inclined to come home and kick his ass. 

budgie.jpg

Bring on the comments

  1. Hails says:

    Poor, heartbroken Waldorf. The happy bachelor act is a big cover-up. He’s just trying to mask the pain in the only way he knows how. When you leave the room , he probably sobs into his beer and plays Carpenters songs on repeat, gazing forlornly at a lone yellow feather on the mantlepiece…

  2. K8 says:

    They had a love-hate relashionship, y’know? They had pretty awful domestics in the cage but loved to whisper sweet nothings to each other when sitting on the bookshelf… They didn’t have chicks though, I think Sunny was a career bird.

    I’m gutted for poor Sunny. I hope she finds Africa, or at least Eurodisney…

  3. According to the Friends version of getting over breaking up he needs to go to a budgie strip club. Is he wearing “sweat pants”?

  4. Ben says:

    The size of the breasts on the blonde in the photo…

    it’s late, i’m tired, its all i could come up with

  5. Well I think she’s a trollope with her gaudy feathers and flighty ways. I bet she’s having it away with the postman’s budgie, living the high life. I’m only glad there aren’t eggs involved. They’re always the first to get hurt.

    I was sorry to miss you at the blog awards, K8. The time went so fast I missed stacks of people I’d have loved to meet. I was delighted to see your paw take his award though. Maybe I’ll see you next time, eh.

  6. Poor Waldo, she probably took off with a cock sparrow with a whiff of the high life about him.

  7. I’m afraid I’m on Sunny’s side: things were getting stale, Waldo was letting himself go and not paying her pretty feathers so much attention, so she took the chance and spread her wings to new horizons, running away with a handsome Greenfinch she was making eyes at through the window. Or she’s squashed in a gutter somewhere.

  8. Natalie says:

    I think Sunny is happily reading chick lit in her new cage with fluffy pink slippers and a chaise lounge….of course she loved K8 but she saw that ugly leather chair coming, women’s intuition wouldn’t ya know?

  9. Waldorf says:

    That bloody bird! All she ever did was chirp, chirp, chirp at me all day and night. Dinner was never on the table on time and she would give me no end of grief when I would hang out with the humans and play the Xbox. You’re never home and you’re always out with your mates and I finally had enough and told her…Oh just shut your seed hole would ya’?
    Well now she’s flown the coop and a good riddance to her. I’ve got me a nice leather chair and a couple of beers. I can watch the sports channel 24/7 now without all the flippin’ chirping.
    I might even pop down the local pub and check out the local birds.

  10. Waldorf sounds like a kewl bird. Who is to say he didn’t knock her out the window? His birdcage sounds a lot like my den. :)

  11. K8 says:

    Thriftcriminal; No, right now he’s playing ‘DRAW!’ on his ugly leather chair like Joey and Chandler…

    Ben; *tsk* I suppose it will have to do…

    Sam; You were there?!?! Shite! I woulda loved to meet you, too!
    Seen the photos? Or these ones?

    Conan; All cock sparrows have around here is a whiff of the knacker’s pipe about them. She has african blood so I reckon she’d go for the warrior type. I hope he has electric blankets!

    English mum; I think it was me, though. She took a bit of a disliking to me when I pulled all her tail feathers out once by mistake (I was trying to catch her when she got trapped in the kitchen and grabbed her tail in a desperate attempt) – I don’t think she ever got over the embarrasment of being tail-less.

    Natalie; Thank you! I’ll replace the image I have of Sunny as maggot fodder with the one you just gave me :)

    Waldorf! How are you typing that while locked in the cage? Do you have broadfeather? Hang on… was that YOU that made the party mess while we were out last night?!?! You could’ve mopped the puke at least, man. Jeez.

    Jefferson; I reckon he bet her 100 seeds that she wouldn’t fly away, knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to find her way back to collect her winnings. Crafty old bird.

  12. englishmum says:

    LOL! Thrifty’s image of Waldorf going ‘they’re running’ whilst watching Baywatch is a killer. Poor, bald bottomed little Sunny. She’s probably run away to find a haberdashers to buy a boa to hide her modesty! x

  13. Waldorf says:

    Oh yea, of course! Blame the pukey mess on me. I guess it never occured to you that I may have some human friends. That flippin’ PuppyChild would never admit to nothin’. No! It’s always my fault, isn’t it?
    Well, chirpy frickin’ chirp, ya’ know.
    I don’t know about you but….BeJayZus, I’ve just about had it with all you goys busting on me.
    Go ahead, open a window. I dare ya’?
    I’m off to Bray and from there I’m gonna’ find a D4 house to hang out in. And if that’s not enough then I’ll head off to Toners pub and be a Dub oddity for all the tourists. I’ll dine on Macadaimia nuts and prawns all day while entertaining the tourists.
    I’ll be frickin’ famous…..you know like Shane what’shisname but I’ll have better teeth.

  14. Doc says:

    i can’t, of course, proove it. but i am quite sure that your Waldorf is the same Waldorf that shared an apartment with me back in the day.

    His habits certainly fit.

    let me know if he starts smoking opium flecked hash, that would be a sure sign.

    oh, and if the little bastard happens to suddenly have a lot of gelt around, check you wallet and undies drawer – that’s my bird all right…

  15. Maxi Cane says:

    You all have it really wrong. Sunny was just voted out of the cage following a massive voting session and when the results came in she was the latest feathered contestant to be voted out of Big Budgie.

    Later she was shown her best bits on a big screen and then had a bit of an interview with Davina MaCaw (gettit?)

    Sorry

  16. K8 says:

    *giggle*

    I’m never above cheesy puns :)

    Hey Doc; I removed a picture frame that is one of Waldorf’s favourite perches, to clean behind it a few days ago. I discovered a bonzai hash plant growing from a tiny fleck of poo stuck to the wall!! Waldorf seems to have his uses…

  17. Kelley says:

    This blog is simply smashing. In my humble opinion of course. As this post is rather debatable I don’t think all your blog visitors are going to agree with it.

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