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Feb 13

211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do

Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 in Humourarse, Little known facts, Quickie, Something to think about

I found a most excellent book today on the ‘please take me I’m free!’ bookshelf in the Murrough recycling centre.

It’s called ‘211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do’, by Tom Cutler.  It’s not as old as it looks, in fact it was only published in 2006, but there is still very much an old-school sort of style to it.


The book answers questions on ‘How to be a real man’, gives excellent science experiments, teaches you how to give speeches and behave at parties, explains tricks and cons, has pretty decent recipies… it even has an ‘everything you want to know about…’ section. 

I’ve been pouring over it for the last while and have found that there is way too much good material in there – it’s just too hard to pick my favourite questions.  So instead, I thought I’d post some of the questions here, then answer which ones take your interest in following posts!

1 – How to light a fart
2 – How to appear more intelligent than you are
3 – How to impress a girl on a budget
4 – How to cure a hangover
5 – How to drive a nail into a plank with your bare hand
6 – How to win money in a casino without cheating
7 – How to blag your way in philosophy
8 – How to do a five minute show with just a blade of grass
9 – How to make a boomerang actually come back
10 – How to fold an origami gift box
11 – How to make a glass harmonica
12 – How to stop a train with your bare hands
13 – How to cook for a girl
14 – How to tell when a girl fancies you
15 – How to judge a woman’s bra size at a glance
16 – How to walk through a postcard
17 – How to get by in Pidgin English
18 – A guide to DIY funerals
19 – How to make a pair of trousers from pub beer towels
20 – Four diversions with a banana

And… if you find the above of some interest, I might even make this book a prize for future caption competitions… YAY!

Bring on the comments

  1. I got a gift of a similar book one fathers day called “Dad Stuff”. It ranged from how to make a kite or a bow and arrow, to knock knock jokes, all aimed at facilitating dad in his quest to seem all knowing and interesting to the young uns.

  2. Grannymar says:

    Since I am in the Waiting Room, why not do no 18 for me! ;)

  3. 6 – How to win money in a casino without cheating

    This is a must, everyone wants to know this;) Infact, I am sure there are many that would want to win while cheating … as long as you don’t get caught.

  4. Baino says:

    Haha. . . I don’t even want to know what the four diversions using a banana is about! Although they’re handy for demonstrating the application of a condom!

  5. manuel says:

    reads like a waiters to do list on a quiet night

  6. I want to know how to win money in a casino without cheating. And the banana one. And the postcard one. All of them in actual fact, except the folding an origami box one. I couldn’t give a shit about that.

  7. Camron says:

    Hubby has a book kinda like that one. His is called “Modern Man’s Guide to Life.” Really interesting info in there. What to do when you’re arrested. How to choose a wife. How to survive the apolcalypse. How to host a dinner party. All with a very macho outlook, though a classy one.

    I find myself reading it much more often than Hubby does. Wassup with that, I wonder?

  8. Conortje says:

    I want to know more about No.5 and No. 8 I’m looking for a new party piece as my Kermit The Frog impersonation is getting a little old. I’m told :-(

  9. King Bob says:

    That’s well impressive, I have two gay friends coming to stay with me and the wife this weekend and this book would have made an excellent gift (with tongue firmly in cheek)

    If you see them mincing through Wicklow, you can always tell them “how to be real men”

  10. I’ve got a banana here in my hand, tell me what I can do with it!

  11. K8 says:

    Oops I’ve run out of time to finish linking and commenting… I’ll be back after my engagement…

  12. K8 says:

    Thriftcriminal; Yes we have one or two of those sort of books lying around gathering dust unfortunately! Fatherly interaction is on pause until the child learns how to use a games console… might try leaving those books open on coffee tables though!

    Grannymar; Sadly it isn’t yet possible to bury oneself. You need to wait until re-animation is invented. Anyway it’s too depressing to think of Grannymar in a casket so no, I’m not telling you how to arrange a DIY funeral!

    Baino; You too posh for cucumbers? You must have awfully small (and crooked) men in Australia.

    Manuel; Ha! Your restaraunt must be great craic :)

    Sam; This may take a while… don’t knock origami, it’s the cornerstone of the cheap present world.

    Camron; Because blokes don’t like to admit they don’t know everything. They like to wait until you read it, then they read over your shoulder.

    Conortje; If you can do Kermit, then surely you can Yoda? Repeat after me: ‘Bend over and show me your dark side, hmmm!’

    Bad Ambassador; Done!

    King Bob; Hello and welcomes! It’s nice that you have such happy friends… I should inform you though, that happy men ARE real men, they’re just slightly more flamboyant about it, and have much better taste in clothing. If I see them around my neighbourhood, I shall invite them in for lemon tea and free house cleaning. They like that.

    Roy; I’m a good clean ex-convent school girl. I have no idea what to tell you to do with your banana besides making it into a delightful Banoffi pie, perhaps. Or you could shove it up your arse… whatever.

  13. That’s exactly what I did!

  14. I might teach the blade of grass tricks to some of the kids at school. I was amazed last summer on a class outing, that I had to teach the girls how to make daisy chains. It didn’t occur to me that inner city kids might not know that kind of thing.

  15. […] at least make some sort of effort to re-engage the language in our lives, I found one amongst the other old free books at our local recycling […]

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