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Feb 11

Victoria's Secret

No, not underwear models… this is much more interesting.

There is a well kept secret here in Wicklow, it’s buried in the countryside, halfway between Roundwood and the Sally Gap.  It’s a very wierd peace-haven called Victoria’s Way.

If you want something different, whether it be a picnic with the family, a quiet stroll or just some good old fashioned food for thought, you’ll want to visit this place.

It isn’t very well marked, but you’ll recognise it by the painted sign on the road.  Its carpark is usually bare apart from a wooden shed with a coin slot on the side, for any donations you feel like throwing in.  From the carpark, the entrance is through the gates of hell, into a huge field full of these fellows:

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Each has their own musical instrument, their music is only bound by your imagination.  From this field you have several options – there are extensive walks dotted with random sculptures to freak you out unexpectedly, or there’s an open maze, which is not so much a maze really as a set of random paths intertwining around small signposts.  Each signpost is obscurely worded and will confuse you utterly, but still manages to provoke alternate levels of thinking, which is pretty much the overall effect of this sculpture park… absolutely everything smacks of ‘WTF?!’

When you’re finished meandering, you’ll eventually find yourself back at Victor’s house, which is a tiny cottage attached to a mighty garage.  Inside this garage, are statues the likes of which you would never forget… like this starving chap:

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Or this mildly upsetting but vastly intriguing couple:

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Once you’ve signed the far wall, you then advance to the shop where you’ll find a wallful of totally unique hand-made jewellery.  This is surrounded by Buddha and Ganesh statues, incense burners, books and ornaments.  Everything is extremely well priced, unless you count a conversation with Victoria himself the extra cost, for it’s a conversation full of arguments like; is 1 + 1 = 1? Are you really a ‘self’ or an expression of ‘self’? 

Absolutely everything is confusing in an unexplainable way.  To give you an idea, here is the story behind Victoria from his book ‘Making your dream come true’;

Victoria was born Victor Langheld on April 29th 1940 in Berlin, Germany.  On Ash Wednesday, 1945, he emerged from the firestorm of Dresden a dead man walking and began a second life.  He came to Ireland in 1946.

At the age of 12 he decided that enlightenment would be a goal worth sacrificing his second life for.   So he took to heart the advice of so many spiritual masters to go east.  He arrived in India in 1964 and there studied and practiced relentlessly to make his dream of enlightenment come true.  He eventually became a Buddhist monk and, on December 1st, 1980, much to his surprise, he achieved the peak experience of awakening and release.  To his astonishment he realized that reaching the peak is easy, but that the return home is difficult.  Indeed, it would take another 18 years of toil and an encounter with a fully realized spiritual mistress before he began to glimpse the way home.

It was in honor of this extraordinary woman and in submission to her unsurpassed knowledge and power that he changed his name to Victoria.

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Mr. Cool – The Nirvana Man

Bring on the comments

  1. nonny says:

    Never seen that before, might head there the weekend!!

    Well done getting short listed, you deserve it!!

  2. I have driven past it many times en route to a hillwalking venue. Not sure I’m ready for the questions some of the statues might cause my 6 year old to ask :-)

    BTW

    (x^2 – x^2) = (x^2 – x^2)
    factoring we get (x + x)(x – x) = x(x – x)
    dividing both sides by the common term we get (x+x) = x

    so perhaps 1+1 = 1.

    although I just divided by zero, so I cheated :-)

  3. Granny says:

    You know I like to suss out your friend’s and i would love to meet these guy’s. In fact Mother’s day is almost upon us and you have still to honour your voucher!!!!!!!

    Well done on getting through to the finals!!!!!

  4. Medbh says:

    Congrats on getting short listed, K8.

    The statues look creepy, especially the one of the woman about to eat the smaller person.

  5. Congratulations on being shortlisted!

  6. K8 says:

    Nonny; I’m afraid the catch with this place is that it’s only open from May to September. I have no idea how this bloke makes money. The shortlisting is crazy! I really didn’t think my weird posts would get that far, I’m a happy bunny :)

    Thriftcriminal; Don’t you just love that huge lake a little further up that road? TAT had a windowcleaning contract around that area, apparently it’s a hideout for superstars!
    I will use that formula the next time I have to buy a round.

    Sam; Very very thinky!

    Granny; Sorry, those vouchers expired 5 months ago… the small print is in magic ink.

    Thanks *shucks* to Sam and Medbh :) I’ll be the strange person hugging the bottle of JD in the corner of the room on the night. (In full gorilla costume of course)

    The statues are VERY creepy, my favourite is the cadaver clawing its way out of a small lake. It’s so horrifying, it’s beautiful. Not the best place for kids who are expecting to see little duckies…

  7. That guy in the second statue…………. He’s my hero!

  8. Conortje says:

    Wow that’s incredible – I’m itching to go and visit now… difficult to achieve seeing as I’m not even in the country :-(

  9. K8 says:

    Roy; Are you sure? That sure is one premenstual biatch he’s stuck to for the rest of his days… for a statue, that’s a long, long, time.

    Conortje; Stick it on your google earth so you’ll remember for the next time you’re over… I’ll supply the whiskey.

  10. […] at the brink of the Sally Gap to gaze down into the valley for a bit, then strolled around Victoria’s Way to meditate and admire the statues (I was worried about bringing Puppychild to this as some of […]

  11. […] shot was taken at Victoria’s Way in County Wicklow.  The bloke looks a bit wicked but exhausted at the same time.  He looks as […]

  12. Al says:

    I was at this place yesterday ! A friend brought me there – I never even heard about it before ! Met Victor for a 30 minute chat aswell – interesting character indeed ;-)Great place to do some thinking.

  13. K8 says:

    Hi Al, I’m glad you got to talk to Victor(ia), intense as he is, he’s always ten minutes well spent. I get dissapointed sometimes when I wander into the shop and there’s no-one there… how much trust he has in the fact that the public won’t fleece him!

  14. Paradise in ancient greek says:

    The 1+1=1 makes total sense after my experience.
    Is there any chance of Victor replying please?
    With metta.

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