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Dec 19

Cabbie K8

Posted on Wednesday, December 19, 2007 in Hackney Cabbing, Jobs

A week later…

There’s that personality dysfunction I was telling you about!  I’m not very good at announcing or celebrating things for some reason.

Yes, kind people, thank you for asking – I did indeed pass my Public Service Vehicle test last Tuesday!

Luckily the garda in charge was too busy listening to Joe Duffy and chatting to his collegue to correct the test paper properly, for yours truly was not entirely awake at the time of the exam.  It had taken me two hours to slide all the way to Wexford on the black ice, with this rolling around my confused little head.  Then of course, being as unprepared as I tend to be, I had 30 minutes to revise Irish Road signs.  For some reason I didn’t expect there to be many more than 20, but no, there are plenty of odd and superfluous road signs and markings out there to confuse the Irish driver.  As for directions around Wicklow Town… why are you asking me this?!?!  They have… like… satellite maps these days y’know.  Duuuhhh…


So, I entered the exam feeling unprepared, tired and nervous, but came out happily sucking diesel!!!  I even treated myself to some windscreen wiper fluid to celebrate.

I am especially happy seeing as the powers that be have decided to make this whole testing thing a lot more detailed in the future.  Had I not passed this test, I would’ve had to suffer a whole training course should I have chosen to re-apply!  Sod all this training lark.  I have full confidence in my own ability to wing it.

I’m going to go now and draw a fake moustache and glasses on my photo I.D., then I think I’ll ice my Christmas cake and then perhaps poison the neighbour’s cat with all the leftover marzipan.

Happy Humpday everybody!

Bring on the comments

  1. Grannymar says:

    Brilliant Brainy You!

    I need a lift to the Post office for the pension……

  2. robert says:


    You can now officially cut cars off at junctions now.

  3. JackMcMad says:

    Yaay! A huge congrats k8! You now have a license to moan, give out about everything and inflict your opinion upon unsuspecting passengers.

  4. Yay – but if you have a roof sign make sure that you turn it off at 2 o’clock in the morning when you have no passengers but no intention of stopping.

    Otherwise we will all go “Grrrrrr!”

  5. Grandad says:

    Can I call you a Cab from now on?

  6. K8 says:

    Grannymar; Thanks ;) I’ll send Puppychild up to you on her trike, she can give you a backer! She’s my assistant.

    Robert; Thanks, I’m looking forward to bus lane useage! I’ll be a good little driver. Very considerate of course. Unless the license takes over my brain, but I can’t be held responsible for that.

    JackMcMad; Cheers! Maybe that’s what they teach you how to do in training school. I’ll be grand, I’ll just ask me da for belligerence lessons.

    Bad Ambassador; Sure thing mon. I’m skint though… I’d put a passenger in the boot if I could get away with it. The light stays on, the fares are welcome! Xbox games don’t buy themselves you know.

    Da; Can I call you a monkey’s uncle?

  7. Gaye says:

    K8 Giant Big Conga-Rats!
    “I think you are mad taking driving on as a job” Well, if you were in Dublin, that’s what I’d say.
    I don’t think I will ever drive as long as I stay in Dublin, everyone’s mad and those that are not mad are either incompetent or have no intention of obeying the rules.
    You have immediately made the driver population better looking, well done!
    Wishing a wonderful new year to you!

  8. Deborah says:

    Congrats K8! Well done!

  9. Good job, well done. So how long did it take you to learn off the full text of Deniro’s monologue referring to how someday a real rain is gonna wash the streets clean? As for the home made spring loaded wrist mounted pistols, well I doff my hat to you :-)

    Best of luck, may it all go swimmingly.

  10. Brianf says:

    All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take ’em to Harlem. I don’t care. Don’t make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won’t even take spooks. Don’t make no difference to me.
    You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.

  11. K8 says:

    Gaye; Plank you :) I thankfully have no business with Dublin City. I HATE driving around Dublin. They should just pedestrianise the whole thing and be done with it.
    Nope, I’ll be working in the Garden County – It’ll be little old ladies and bags of shopping for me.

    Deborah; Thanks! That test-passing feeling is one of the greatest buzzes there are :)

    Thriftcriminal; HA! 2 minutes thanks to Brianf! I’m trying to figure out what icon I should have on my dashboard with the bobbly-head. Bob Marley? A plastic Jesus? Elvis? Should I aim high for the Bobble-head Ray? I just don’t know.

    Brianf; YEAH! I’m gonna write this all over the inside roof of my cab with indellible marker. That should keep the fuckers quiet.

  12. Baino says:

    Aha! So that was the ‘test’ I wasn’t paying attention. Well done! Do you have to clean spew out of the back seat? Now you can do all sorts of crazy things like pretend you don’t speak English, go the long way round and triple the fare, jump cab queues and give the other drivers the bird, not turn up when I’m all dressed in me gladrags to go to a Christmas party then arrive late and abuse my children . . . oh and drive off while I’m still getting me bags out of the boot!

  13. Roy says:

    Shame we won’t be seeing you around Dublin , i look forward to some taxi tales though

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