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Nov 11

(True Story)

Posted on Sunday, November 11, 2007 in Quickie, Strange and Unusual

A pair of aces grinned from the flop, the group was being cagey, the atmosphere thick.  Several players folded while they were still ahead. 

“Hey!  I have a story!”  says the magnetically interesting girl with the voice of an angel to my right.  Our attention shifted and the tension broke.

My sister’s friend has one of those pet snakes, you know those really big ones?

The conversation lapses into the dietary habits of pet snakes for a while (a rabbit?!  seriously?  live or frozen?!).

So anyway, she had this snake for years.  It grew so big that she had to stop housing it in it’s tank, and just let it sleep coiled up at the foot of her bed every night.  She loved this thing.  So, when it suddenly began to refuse it’s mice every week, she began to worry.  She marked it down to the fact that it could be shedding it’s skin and decided to leave it a while to see what happened.

The poker game was momentarily put aside.

Then, one morning she woke to find that the snake had stopped sleeping at the foot of the bed, and was now lying parallel to her body, with it’s head on the pillow.  This was seriously odd behaviour, so she brought it to the vet.  Well!  The vet listened to her descriptions of the snake’s behaviour and told her instantly to get rid of it, fast!  She was mortified, seeing as she loved this thing so much, and asked why…

(Baited breath)

“He’s sizing you up.”  he said.

We all gasped and made a similar *AAUUGGH* sound whilst imagining the feeling of waking up half way down a pet snake’s gullet.

snake.jpg

NASTY

Bring on the comments

  1. […] K8 wrote an interesting post today on (True Story)Here’s a quick excerptMy sister’s friend has one of those pet snakes, you know those really big ones? The conversation lapses into the dietary habits of pet snakes for a while (a rabbit?! seriously? live or frozen?!). So anyway, she had this snake for years. … […]

  2. Robert says:

    Jesus! That’s one horrible thought. I’m glad I’m reading this in the morning and not before I’m going to bed.

  3. Grandad says:

    No truer love hath any snake than to eat his own mistress.

  4. Medbh says:

    Ungrateful bastard.
    Seriously scary.

  5. Foreigner says:

    My resolve not to have any reptile pets in the house just got somewhat firmer.

    Still a bit baffled about “loving a snake” bit though. They’re not particularly cuddly as far as I know.

    Have you ever been bit by turtle btw? Ouch!

  6. Baino says:

    Crikey! How big was the snake! Sorry, but only a labrador lying parallel on my bed. I did get bitten by a bearded dragon once tho, serves me right for trying to hand feed it!
    http://www.the-lizard-lounge.com/content/gallery/lizard-pictures/bearded-dragon-pictures/bearded-dragon-02.jpg

  7. Jeepers.

    Snake tastes a lot like chicken they say. If I were in there I’d launch a preemptive attack. A snake in the pan is worth two in the bed.

    Snakes are right bastards. Especially ones in the grass. And especially ones in the bed.

  8. K8 says:

    Robert: I know! It’s Cheerios for thought, alright.

    Da, is that a quote, or from personal experience?

    Medbh: Yep, am seriously considering revising my interest in exotic pets.

    Foreigner: No, but I was bitten by a terrapin once. Nasty beaky yokes, them. I’ve always fancied doing my weekly shopping with a real live snake wrapped around me though. Great way to get to the top of the queues…

    Baino: I remember that post!!! I’ve seen only one pet snake, in the house of a girl I worked with once. It was in it’s tank, apparently still a baby, yet it was 3 ft long! She showed me it’s frozen dinners too. A bag of knarly baby pink mice. Ick.

    Sam: Hehe, too true. There has to be a rude joke in here somewhere… well surprised no dirty feckers have mentioned erect snakes yet.

  9. Medbh says:

    I was going to go for the dirty joke, K8 and then thought it was too obvious.

  10. b3n says:

    That’s the problem with reptiles, they don’t form friendships. Eat you as quick as look at you! I’ll stick with me fish, although I have 2 sharks in one of my aquariums and I haven’t been bitten yet.

  11. K8 says:

    Medbh, fair play lass, fair play. You’re contributing to the valuable demureness of this blog.

    B3n; sharks? Are you an evil genius? Do you have British spies dangling over the tank as we speak?

  12. b3n says:

    Not spies, StarWars figures. Use the force now Young Skywalker! Mwa ha ha !!

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