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Oct 9

Hero or Zero?

Posted on Tuesday, October 9, 2007 in On the box, Something to think about

Had another heated debate with TAT last night while watching Boston Legal (Why did Uhura cry?  Because William Shatner!) over the efforts of the main character to win over both his girlfriend and his manhood.  We had to agree to disagree in the end, but I’d love to hear your opinions on this…


Alan Shore, a high rolling solicitor is in a bar with his rather fetching girlfriend.  They agree to dabble in a little roleplay.  She decides to go and sit by the bar, requesting that Alan should approach her as a perfect stranger and chat her up.

So, off she toddles and parks herself on an empty stool only to be noticed straight away by a random baldy ‘built-like-a-brick-shithouse’ bloke who immediately approaches her with an increadibly cheesy line.  Alan Shore then comes over and announces himself as the competition.  The two men begin to snarl at each other (Alan using his usual smarm and quick wit) leading to the large bloke smacking Alan in the jaw.

Alan backs off and quickly manages to solicit a bunch of large men to help him out.

“I’ll give you 200 dollars to hit that man over there, and another 100 if you manage to floor him.” says he.

Large man approaches big bald man and hits him, instantly flooring him.  Bald man’s friend then hits solicited man.  A bar brawl ensues with Alan Shore randomly handing out 100 dollar notes to anyone who wishes to join in on his behalf.  Which they do.


As he watches this, TAT is roaring with laughter and yells- ‘HA!  Fair play to ‘im!!!  Wouldn’t you love to be able t’do that?!?’

I was visibly shocked.  I told TAT that if he ever did that, I’d drop him like a hot snot, that only a wanker with too much money would do that, which is, let’s face it, exactly what this character Alan Shore is.  I told him that women wanted to see their men defend themselves proudly, to go down fighting… not to wuss out and pay someone else to do the dirty work.  TAT in return is equally shocked. 

“But sure if he’s able to pay someone else to fight, then he can walk away unharmed and everyone’s happy!”

I retorted that most women were more turned on by balls than money, that if a man should engage in a fist fight in order to win a girl, he wouldn’t have to make much more of an effort to get into her knickers afterwards.  I then pointed out the scowl on the actress’ face and smugly said – “SEE?!”

“You’re not listening.  You don’t understand.”  he said.

I flipped him the birdie which is a good indication that the conversation is over.  The weird thing is that I know TAT would never pull this sort of stint and loves a good excuse for a brawl, so I’m pretty confused right here…

So my question to you men is… if you were minted and contesting for a beautiful woman, would you do the same thing, or fight man to man?

And to you women… which is a bigger turn on, man with money, or man with a full set of hairy cojones?

Bring on the comments

  1. Grannymar says:

    Listen sister! I’m saying nuttin.

    My secrets are my secrets!

  2. K8 says:

    You’re very cagey lately! Have you been abducted again?

  3. Deborah says:

    That’s all very well K8, but the question remains when the hell did Boston Legal start again? What channel? ARGH… to think what I’ve missed!!!!

    To answer your question I’d go with the money… better than nursing the bastard after a brawl. Men are awful when they’re hurt or sick… worse than having twelve toddlers hold you down and wax your pubes. Ugh.

  4. I’ll go with answer “c” – I would give the money to the beautiful woman.

  5. Natalie says:

    Money or the “box”….coz if he is in a brawl the box might not be availalbe for a while…..just saying….

  6. SID says:

    A swift kick to the opponents genitalia,grab the girl and the money.

    Marry her

    Then receive the same swift kicks to your own genitalia,as you don’t give the girl enough of the money.

    Men just can’t win.

  7. Grandad says:

    Give the money to someone to beat up TAT?

  8. Bano says:

    Haha . . .Dump the boyfriend and crack onto the big guy.
    Altho SID has a point!

  9. Granny says:

    Man with money, brains and a full set of hairy cojones. :)

  10. Daz says:

    Mano a mano, every time.

    With women, as with rugby, it’s best to go down fighting and not pay the opposing team to do a no-show …

  11. Doc says:

    “drop him like a hot snot”?

    is that with one finger laid across a nostril and forcibly ejected?

    or, perhaps, a line dripping from the nose that one wipes and then suddenly flings?

  12. Fight, get shit kicked out of me, spend the dosh a day or two later on having the other chap strapped to a table like Bond in Goldfinger – “I expect you to die…”

  13. Foreigner says:

    I wouldn’t know, situations like that make me all embarrassed and fidgety and I probably would have taken off loooong before the choosing time would come.

  14. Medbh says:

    I really don’t go for men who are violent or fight. Shit, I’ve probably been in more fights than Mr. M.

    I look at it this way:
    If you’re up against a huge guy and can’t win, getting beaten up in front of a woman you are trying to impress will not work. It would be emasculating at some level. I would commend the man for getting the big dude beaten up through using his brain and his wallet rather than his face.

    Oh, and there’s no shame in a kick to the balls and then running.

  15. Brianf says:

    Fight! There is no other answer. Paying someone else to fight for you would make you the number one taget for a swift kick in the nuts.

  16. K8 says:

    Brian and Daz are my all time heros. Spread your wild oats please for the good of (wo)mankind.

    Thriftcriminal, you are way up there in my estimation for the nemesis idea. I like the way you think.

    Doc, as far as I’m aware, when one is caught picking one’s nose, one is found with a hot snot which must be dropped sharpish.

    Special credit goes to Mr. Sixty for using the magic words. I’m letting you off the Jessie hook for that.

    As for the rest of you… what a bunch of Jessies!!! Darwin is crying a river for you all somewhere. FOR SHAME! I see the future. I see a world full of princesses. I worry.

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