RSS Feed
Aug 21

Hindsight isn't what it used to be

Posted on Tuesday, August 21, 2007 in Jobs, Rantings

The phone rang when I least expected it to.  I was having an anti-social kind of day, the kind of day happily spent playing solitaire on the computer and going slowly crazy in between rounds of half-assed house cleaning.

“Who the f..? *click* Yell-low?” I was ready for entertainment, not serious conversation.

A man’s voice spoke, it was as lyrical as an Australian accent, but soft with a slightly Welsh tinge.  I’m guessing New Zealand.  He was very easy to listen to.  So easy, in fact, that I wasn’t really paying much attention to his words. 

He started his conversation by asking me if I was still in the *mumbledy* recource group, that he was from some local paper or other.

“Yeah!  Sure, why not!”  I said. 

He went on to describe how this local politician was whingeing in his earhole about the N11.  Apparently a bunch of locals are getting together to stage a protest about this road.  He asked me if I knew anything about this.

The N11, for anyone who doesn’t know about it, is the main road that runs between Dublin and Rosslare, the two main ports on the Republic’s east coast.  It hasn’t been redesigned in many decades, so is totally inadequate for the volume of traffic it gets.  Holiday campers heading south for the weekend may as well walk.  There is also a bottle neck at the worst possible spot that leads to a stretch of road which is riddled with tight bends.  Almost every weekend, you’ll find a car or a truck has overturned into a ditch, thus increasing the pandemonium.

Seeing as the powers that be seem to be ploughing all their funds into the city center these days, it’s hardly surprising that there’s unrest around this neck of the country.  It’s nothing new. 

“A protest?  Nah, I’d no idea, but I’m not surprised.”  I told him.

“Really?  So this has happened before?”

“Are you shitting me?  The road’s a joke.  I just thought people had given up by now.  Everyone knows that the powers that be aren’t worth the paper the statistics are printed on.  Anyway, the traffic itself isn’t a problem for us around here.  We just use the back roads.  You’d want to be doolally to use the main road.”

“So why do you think these people are protesting if they can use alternative routes?”  He asked.

“I dunno.  Only a pure gobshite would go anywhere near that road at rush-hour.  It probably has more to do with the fact that so many cars roll on the Ballynameesda bends, but sure politicians don’t seem to care.  They use it as a Darwinian tool to eliminate drink-drivers.”

“Are you serious?” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, but you’re seriously asking the wrong person here.  I don’t know anything about anything.”

“No, it’s okay, you’ve been more than helpful in this!  Thank you for your input.”

*click*

I stared at the phone for a few minutes.  The man’s tone had been quite serious in hindsight, almost as though the conversation had been staged, possibly recorded.  I hope he didn’t assume I was somebody influencial, because he sure did treat me that way.  These people shouldn’t assume that everybody in local resource groups are intelligent leaders of society.  I’m only in it by accident, purely for the free coffee, caught in a decidedly un-quotable mood.

After a while of wondering how this chap got hold of my mobile phone number, a very clearly defined headline began to swim in the waters of my confused mind.

LOCAL HIPPIE CHICK BEHIND BARS FOR UNMITIGATED SLANDER

Bring on the comments

  1. b3n says:

    “Dublin and Rosslare, the two main ports on the Republic’s east coast.”

    Grrrrr!!!!
    http://www.droghedaport.ie/index_home.html

    I know what the headline of the Drogheda Independent will be on Wednesday.

    ‘Hippie Chick refuese to acknowledge important status of Drogheda Port’

    Heh heh heh.

    Yeah I drove on that road to Arklow before. Really have to have your wits about you.

  2. K8 says:

    Woops.

    Hey, if I can’t see it, then it mustn’t exist. You’re having me on.

  3. Grannymar says:

    Are you sure it was not your dad?

    Did you forget? You lost your phone that day!

  4. Hails says:

    Hehe. I think it’s good that they’re interviewing people who actually give honest answers, these days!

  5. Robert says:

    Like Grannymar I would hazard a guess at your father being involved somehow ;)

  6. SID says:

    I remember what seemed like a whole day coming off that road at Doyles pub to head to Arklow for the cinema that doesn’t exist anymore.

    The going Nowhere11

  7. Baino says:

    Lyrical accent eh! Why how sweet.

    If he was a New Zealander, he’d have asked you out for fush and chups and vuneger.

  8. K8 says:

    Wasn’t dad. I tortured him with some live cables but didn’t glean any information out of him. In fact, I think he enjoyed it!

    Hails, I firmly believe that anyone with an interest or understanding of politics should be kicked out of office. Only lay people should rule. I quite fancy myself as On Teeshock!

    SID, I’ve spent many a frustrated hour sitting at Lil’s junction. You just don’t turn right there. In fact, it’s best not to turn right anywhere in Wicklow. You need to make left turns. Always left. You end up driving in circles but it beats waiting!

  9. K8 says:

    He did ask me what my Upunion was alright. And he yelled ‘SHEEP RULE!’ down the phone at me before he hung up.

    Ah no, I’m only messing.

  10. ‘There is also a bottle neck at the worst possible spot that leads to a stretch of road which is riddled with tight bends.’

    Hey! That’s where I made my bottleneck!

    Funny post, K8.

  11. Conortje says:

    didn’t I hear that recorded conversation on the Joe Duffy show yesterday…

  12. K8 says:

    I just love ogling cycling arses when I’m stuck behind them in my jam jar. Fair play to you. Somebody has to do it.
    I bet you sawed the bollix off yourself in your efforts to get through that stretch!! It’s evil.

    Did the Duffster call out my phone number? I’ve been getting some quare’n weird calls lately.

  13. SID says:

    C’mon slacker.Post!

  14. me says:

    I can’t. I’m in jail. I’ve tattoed the pipe system on the inside of my eyelid… so hang tight, I’ll be escaping soon. I have to seduce a few guards first and get my mitts on an escape plane yet so don’t hold your breath.

    Paris says Hi.

  15. Baino says:

    Aww K8 – I miss you, you’re my reliable commenter! Get that old man of yours to buy you a new PC . . . he can sell the old floor and give you the proceeds!

Leave a Reply

Gravityscan Badge