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Jul 18

Yu-Gi-Arrgghh!

Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 in Family, Rantings, Something to think about

I’ve put together a formula to rate the irritation level of children’s TV shows.

I haven’t done this because I don’t like children’s TV shows, don’t get me wrong… 

I’ve done it because I’ve been in the sityation before where I wake up and can’t get to sleep for the distraction of the TV which is babysitting my child while I snatch a lie-in.  This is not nice with a raging hangover or preceeding a sleepless night, so I need something to tell me which are the shows that I will most likely be able to sleep through.

Because I’m such a nice person, I’m going to share my results with you so that if you find yourself in this position in the near future, you’ll know what to do.

Here is the formula, in case you’re wondering.

tvformula.jpg

!!!= Irritation Level
T= The predictability of the plot (scale 1-10)
V= Volume =10.  This is constant as we all know small children think they’re deaf.
a= The amount of action in the show(scale 1-10)
x= The amount of cheesy lines and/or canned laughter in the show (scale 1-10)
Z= Hours of sleep needed.

***

Children’s TV shows most likely to give you a bit more kip:
(In order)

Tom and Jerry
Balamory
Fifi and the Flowertots
SpongeBob SquarePants
Lazy Town
Fimbles
My Parents Are Aliens
Rugrats
Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries
Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends
Johnny Bravo
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Dexter’s Laboratory
Dastardly and Muttley
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!
Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

Bring on the comments

  1. Grannymar says:

    Scary, ‘Scooby-Doo, Where Are You’ is the only thing I recognise.

    If my Elly decides to increase and multiply I will need a crash course in Children’s Tv

  2. Grandad says:

    If my calculations are correct, the the higher Z is then the smaller !!! will be. Therefore, the more sleep you need, the lower the irritation factor.

    The formula is therefore simpler …

    !!! = tvAXZ

    Last Sundays result [watching Sponge Bob after 3 hours kip]

    T = 5
    V = 10
    a = 6
    x = 10
    z = 24

    Therefore !!! = 72000 i.e. pretty damn irritating!

    Anyway, what are you doing kipping while a two and a half year old has free reign of all the electrical appliances, gas appliances and explosives that TAT leaves lying around?

    Grannymar – You’re leaving out Tom and Jerry? They are older than we are!

  3. K8 says:

    Da, I thought about that. The way I see it, when you are desperate for sleep, or Z=8, then you’re most likely to sleep through anything.

    If you only need an extra 40 winks, or Z=1, then it will be a lot harder to get back to sleep, thus irritation levels are a lot higher. See?

    Grannymar, you’d be surprised how many insightful life lessons can be learned from inane kid’s TV!

    For example, in the words of Sqidward Tentacles;

    “Patrick, if I had a dollar for every brain you don’t have, I’d have one dollar.”

  4. baino says:

    Highly rated irritating ankle biter’s shows:
    Telly Tubbies
    Dorothy the really irritating green lizardy thing (and I though we had nasties over here)
    The Wiggles (how many times can you mash a potato)
    Play School (I still have a bleedin’ busy box!)
    Sesame Street (it’s ZED not ZEE)
    My neice and nepher (little ones) have come to appreciate science fiction with an unhealthy zeal!
    “Luke I am your Fa-a-a-a-ther”

  5. Grandad says:

    “Sesame Street (it’s ZED not ZEE)” YAY!!!!!

    You could be right K8. Frankly I found that SpongeBob was like a nail on a blackboard – it didn’t matter how tired I was, I couldn’t have slept.

  6. K8 says:

    HEY! Sesame street rules, ok?

  7. b3n says:

    Sensimilla Street was brought to you today by the letters … ummm and… errr and by the number…. orange.

    Excellent equation! Lost on me though, I’d sleep through anything (except a flight where my senses are acutely honed in on every little creak and groan that the plane makes)

  8. K8 says:

    B3n, did you just call me Krammit? :p

  9. I seriously question the positioning of Lazy Town. Did you take your eye off the equation on that one?

    It breaks the constant volume rule. Every word is a shriek, every gesture a virtual punch in the face. It goes right up to the Spinal Tap 11.

    To be clear, I really do not enjoy napping to Lazy Town.

  10. K8 says:

    This is very true.

    Lazy Town freaks me out with it’s weird costumes and dodgy looking puppets. It’s sort of addictive in a strange way. Like watching a lava lamp. I have a soft spot for the show for that reason, so usually I’ll keep one eye on it until the boring dialogue puts me to sleep.

    Also I fancy the bad guy. He has a kinky hairdo and impeccable dress-sense.

  11. Okay so Sesame St rocks and did you see that we are soon going to be able to introduce to a whole new generation of mamailínigh (Irish for toddlers) to it? http://www.gaelport.com/index.php?page=news&id=661&lan=english

    K8 love the site and insight.
    Don’t try visiting mine – it has keeled over from sheer unwieldiness. In sore need of a crash diet. The site not me contrary to my son’s “Hey mammy you have a big fat belly!” comments.

  12. K8 says:

    AND Fraggle Rock is back! Pure class :)

    When somebody tells me not to do something, you can be damn sure I’ll do it anyway… but I see what you mean! I hope it’s feeling better soon :)

    Are you in the Gaeltacht yerself?

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