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Jul 17

Mithered with a smelly reality

Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 in Strange and Unusual

Whoa.  Something weird has happened.  I seem to have developed an alter-ego.  One ego alone is hard enough to handle.  I’ve read one or two nice things that people have said either about or to me on this bloggysphere, and there seems to be a pattern forming.  You all think I’m nuts.  Well, that’s cool, I am a bit, let’s say… eccentric, but it’s all down to the fact that when I’m in a certain mood, I can’t take the world seriously.  This mood seems to hover when I’m out on the tiles with the gals, and when I’m doing all this writing and stuff. 

Truth be known, I go back over old posts occasionally and say to myself… ‘I don’t remember writing that!  Was I a woman possessed?!’

In real life, there are only a handful of people who know that I am truly weird underneath, these are the people that relate to that side of me I suppose, that have seen my true feelings.  In real life, I’m pretty quiet y’see.  You have to squeeze conversations out of me painfully sometimes, on the days I just feel like people-watching.  Jefferson’s Podcast discovered that last Sunday on my birthday when I was mithered with a smelly hang-over.   I think episode 50 expected me to be slightly daffy, in the words of Daz (God bless all who sail in him);

“…might I say you were the weirdest (best possible way) person I’ve ever … read, I suppose, and coming from a man who once elected Most Likely To Be Committed To An Insane Asylum by his peers at his debs, that’s a compliment.”

or Brian F;

“You’re weird!
I mean that in the nicest way.”

But instead they got the shy other version of me.  The one that takes ten minutes to think of something funny to say.  Behind a desk with a beer is a different story y’see.   They even had me crack dad‘s old stoner jokes to break the awkward silences.  I now know I should’ve said something like this;

I’m not a pheasant plucker
I’m a pheasant plucker’s son.
And I’m only plucking pheasants
’till the pheasant plucker comes.

Because I’m quite good at saying this fast.  Even when my sobriety is compromised.  My most lively input into the whole podcast was on my delight at finding that Baino smokes my brand (I mean seriously!  What are the odds?!  Okay pretty good really, but you know what I mean…).  It’s difficult though, not being able to pull faces on the internet!


So… you lot think I’m weird.


You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

Bring on the comments

  1. You are not weird, just different. And, there is nothing wrong with that. :-)

    I have a similar alter-ego. I’m shy and sublime most of the time, but after a pint or two, I’m a smooth talker.

    So, did anyone buy you a Mercedes Benz? :-)

  2. baino says:

    Hahahahaha. I think you were just stage struck we put you on the spot. I can talk the leg off a chair (and underwater). Although you did lose me with the reference to rubber sheep . . that’s been bothering me for a few days now although the concept is mildly amusing – I can’t help thinking about New Zealanders and the possibility of a new sport emerging.

    And it’s time to practice:

    “Mrs McGillicuddy has a rough cut punt”

  3. Brianf says:

    Saying you’re nuts is a bit harsh. Wierd, yes, but not nuts. I wouldn’t go as far as to say your writings are looney. there is nothing wrong with Wierd. I like your writings which is to say I like the way you think. I still owe you a gold star.
    After our conversation on Emergant Diversity and Thermo-Nuclear Dynamics last Saturday night I realized that you are as intellegent and funny as your built in babysitter, Grandad.
    Don’t beat yourself up. Episode 50 was one of the best and funniest shows we have ever done. The next best one was lost to the ages.
    Just remember H.S. Thompsons famous quote.
    “When the going gets wierd. The wierd turn pro.”

  4. b3n says:

    Being weird is cool! Better than being normal and boring. If we follow Darwin’s hypothesis on evolution, mankind will ONLY evolve through the freaks and weirdos that it throws out sometimes. So hold your head up high you are progressing mankind/womankind/personkind, I hate this PC bollox.

  5. K8 says:

    Okay I feel better now.

    No Mercedes Benz. I must make amendz!

    Have you any more information on Mrs. McGillicuddy’s punt?

    So, Brian, you’re supporting my theory that it’s better to have a skinful in order to create intelligent conversation? Nice one matey :)

    It’s not the strongest, the fastest or the best that survive,
    but those who adapt the quickest, so Darwin said. You’re right, so… weirdness is a form of adaptation I s’pose! Yipee!

  6. Granny says:

    The old E.S.P. is working again.

    My next blog was to be about the blog side of people. You took the blog right out of my mouth. It’s the child in me that blogs. The child has to be let out to play. When the child is dormant, the adult takes over.

    Hence the long gaps between blogs.

  7. Daz says:

    I swore never again to comment on blogs, but then again, one can’t just stop being a cokehead, or a heroin addict … mmm blogging.

    Anyway, I empathise. I am silently shy in large groups, and only a few people know that I am really a bit crazy underneath. My trademark humour is impersonations, prank phone calls (often recorded for posterity’s sake), thinking of funny situations that come out in sentences beginning with: ‘Hey, imagine if …‘, and situational comedy, the kind that’s fucking hilarious when it happens, but any effort to recount it is met with ‘ah but you had to be there …‘. In short, something like the Colm and Jim-Jim Breakfast Show only I’m actually funny (or so I’ve been told).

    I can’t reproduce that kind of humour in words, and only slightly in voice. And I’m not going to waste my and a bunch of strangers’ time if I can’t at least make them laugh.

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