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May 5

Air-brushed election?!?

Posted on Saturday, May 5, 2007 in Rantings

I have a bottle and a half of wine in me, so heaven help you.

I would like to indulge in a quick rant about election posters.  I don’t usually rant, as I am the peace loving kind, but this year above others I feel pretty affected.  I’m up for marketing, it’s sensible and gets the punter’s attention, but this is mind-bogglingly surreal.  For every 50 metres of road, there are at least two posters.  Some of them overlap each other.  Some of them have their own scaffolding and I feel justified in pointing fingers, Mr. Cockroach Dick Roche. 

All you motorists out there are well aware of that automatic awareness of road signs.  Whether they be directional signs, yield signs or speed limits, we don’t deliberately look at them, our subconcious takes them into mind.  Election posters fuck my mind up.  My brain is trying to ignore them, yet has the difficult task of picking the needles from the haystack.  Delerious cheesy grins distract my ability to judge what the road holds up ahead.  What the hell are tourists thinking?  Are French people thinking that we are unnaturally friendly?  Do the British think we’re sad?  These people must think we have no better way to spend our money as they jig along on our dangerously narrow winding acne-ridden roads.

I would love to get my hands on a paintball gun and a babysitter.  I would spend a whole week trapesing around this island happily defacing this in-your-face visual air-brushed pollution.  County to county, by bike or by foot.  It’s not illegal.  I’d even do it for charity. 

election.jpg

What are they at, anyway?!?! Are we really gullible enough to have our minds changed by crappy catchphrases?  Don’t we all know whom we are voting for by now?!?!  Is the erection of posters just a means of employing foreigners who are looking for a quick buck?  Am I going to wake any minute from a horrible nightmare and find myself gladly suffering a hangover?  I hope so.

Somebody pinch me. PLEASE.

Bring on the comments

  1. baino says:

    In the building where I work is also one of our Federal polly’s office and come election time, proxy polling booth. He never speaks to anyone. We plastered our windows with posters of a rival independent just to get up his nose.

    He came in to our office:

    Pollie: “Take these things down!” *pointing to offending posters*
    Me: “It’s a free world and we’re backing the opposition, they stay”
    Pollie: “Nou haven’t heard the last of this, do you know who I am”
    Me: “Nope. Who are you?”
    Pollie: *turned and stormed out in a huff*

    That’s the only conversation we’ve had in five years. And yes, he has a nasty skin irritation which has definitely been airbrushed on his poster . . dickhead.

  2. Blogging when drunk good idea never is. Me take it from.

    I agree with you though – I’m sure as hell not going to vote for someone just because the PDs are telling me ‘Don’t Throw It All Away’.

    Throw you cock-a-roaches out of government, that’s what I want to see.

    That said, I can be bought with snazzy campaigns. Last time a guy called Vincent P. Martin dazzled us all by using the Star Wars theme music as his campaign song. Even though he is from Monaghan, a crime on a par with robbing my Xbox 360 in my eyes, I still would have voted for him, but I was only thirteen at the time, although a lot of dead people got to vote last time so …

    Alas, he’s gone Green this time ..

  3. Grandad says:

    You bring the paintball gun. You get the posters.
    I’ll bring the rifle. I’ll get the candidates.

  4. Grandad says:

    Why? What’s wrong with that?

  5. K8 says:

    Nothing I suppose. Except you can dump your own bodies next time. I’ve had enough hack-saw duty.

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