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Apr 16

One giant step for womankind

Posted on Monday, April 16, 2007 in Philosophy, Something to think about, Taboo

I and my bestest girly friend Louise were wandering through Dalkey yesterday on our way to a Christening party.  We were talking about kids and genetics, trying to decide who my son looked more like, me or his dad. 

 “OH!  That reminds me..” she suddenly exclaimed, “I read that there’s serious research being done into female fertilisation, for lesbian couples mostly.  What they do is create a sperm cell from the bone marrow of a female donor, and fertilise a female egg!  Amazing, huh?”
 “What?! But if you became pregnant with your own baby, you’d be cloning yourself surely?”
 “No, you can’t do that… and don’t call me Shirley.  The egg can only be fertilised with the marrow from a different person.  Like a lesbian partner.”
 “I see.. but then what do you do about the Y chromosome you get in men’s sperm?  You’d have double amounts of the X chromosome, so therefore you’d get a girl every time?”
 “Yyyeahhh…” She said, trailing off.

We walked in silence for a bit, lost in thought.

 “So in theory, it’s possible that men could be obsolete?  The future could be run by women, in a predominantly female world?”
 “Yep!!! No war, just bitching sessions”  (Much laughter)

We talked for a while about such a world with no men.  I’ve been thinking about it pretty much ever since.

I can’t imagine a world with no men.  You’d have the ying without the yang.  It gives me the willies, so to speak.  I love men, and prefer male company to female, with the exception of my wonderfully eclectic girlfriends.  Yes, the face of war would change.  Our roads would be safer, and crime rates would drop,  but our heads would be wrecked with flowery paraphernalia and constant clashing PMT.  We would have to force ourselves into lesbianism.  I would consider myself to have a healthy balance of male to female hormones.  It’s what makes me a reasonable driver.  I have the female patience, with a touch of male aggression.  I play shoot-em-up games on the playstation.  I hate shopping.  I like painting my nails,  I love cute kittens and heavy metal music.  Balance. 

If there were no men, could we still produce testosterone ourselves?  If not, it would have to be artificially injected.  So, all women would have equal amounts of testosterone.  Would this work?

I would strongly petition for the production of men, if it came to this sort of scenario.  They would be very handy for amusement and slavery purposes.  You could keep a bloke in a household like a pet.. let him sleep in the kitchen on a blanket and feed him regularly.  You’d play with him when you’d feel like it, and train him to obey simple commands.  Hmmm…


What do you reckon? 

Bring on the comments

  1. Grannymar says:

    For once I am glad I am old!

    If you didn’t have men who would you blame for everything?

  2. Taking a deep breath and preparing for controversy …

    This kind of thing makes me sick. It is unnatural. Human beings have reproduced for millenia by different-sex couples. Case in point, your son, anyone for that matter. But this is selfishness. If two lesbians want a baby, what’s wrong with it not having the DNA of one of the parents? If they truly love each other, then they should be prepared to make sacrifices such as that. I can see where the idea for this technology comes in, but the path to Hell is paved with good intentions.

    I have no problem with non-heterosexual people, just that this defies all natural laws.

    And if women were in charge, we’d have a war every 28 days.

  3. K8 says:

    I deliberately didn’t go into the whole ethical question behind this- I’m not going to touch that one with a 40 foot pole. I for one would be an advocate of adoption in this sort of scenario. I think there are enough children out there deprived of basic rights without having to artificially create them. I was talking to a friend about this recently who was researching adoption, I had no idea that it was so expensive… in the region of €45,000 apparently. This is ridiculous… you’d have no money left to take care of the child!! Not being in the situation myself, I can’t judge. I don’t know how I’d feel.

    And women were in charge, the world would have to stop revolving every 28 days!

  4. Brianf says:

    “You’d have the ying without the yang.”
    Amen sister!

  5. Baino says:

    *I can’t imagine a world with no men*
    Who would take the garbage out and carry the esky?

  6. Grandad says:

    And wouldn’t the world be a sad place without Grandad?

  7. K8 says:

    Sure by then I’d have you stuffed and made into a coffee table.

    Baino, what’s an esky?

  8. Grandad says:

    I’ll remember that, the next time you want a babysitter!!!!

  9. Granny says:

    You are right, wise one. The cheque books will do.

    As me old granny down the country used to say –

    “There’s no man worth a hat-full of shkins”

  10. Baino says:

    I shall educate you heathens. When you live in a country where the average summer temperature is 30C you need something to keep your beer cold. It’s an insulated box into which you place an ice pack and your drinky poos. It gets heavy with a case of Victoria Bitter (or in my case a few bottles of bubbly) so you need a bloke to carry it for you. we can’t live without ’em.

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